5 Genuinely Terrifying Halloween Costume Ideas From A Genuinely Terrifying Year

Warmongers and chauvinists and sycophants: 2017, you've been dreadful

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One thing that we can all agree on regarding this turd pile of a year is that we really needn't turn to fiction for villainous inspiration this Hallowe'en. After all, who can honestly be terrified by Pennywise the clown whilst Jacob Rees-Mogg walks among us?

With that chilling thought in mind, here's some of the most frightening characters you can impersonate this year.

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Kendall Jenner in her Pepsi advert

Kendall Jenner pepsi
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Even during a time when you can't scroll for two seconds without seeing a celebrity endorsed #ad, one campaign took tone deafness to terrifying new levels this year. Encapsulating the very worst of grubby political opportunism, white privilege and naff denim, Kendall Jenner's disastrous attempt to solve deep seated social unrest with a cylinder of carbonated sugar makes for the perfect costume this year. Don't forget to carry your can of Pepsi for fist bumps!

Kim Jong-Un

Rocket Man might seem like an obvious choice this All Hallows' Eve but considering none of us may be alive by the time next year rolls around, it seems fitting to pay tribute to the man hell-bent on starting the nuclear apocalypse. A Peaky Blinders-style short on the sides haircut, some bloody massive trousers and referring to all you encounter as a "mentally deranged dotard" should do the trick.

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Jacob Rees-Mogg

It's hard to know exactly what it is that makes the MP for North East Somerset quite so terrifying. Perhaps it's his Edwardian fascination with nannies, or his prehistoric obsession with controlling women's bodies. It's likely a combination of both - along with the fact he looks like a strung out reincarnation of The Childcatcher who spends his weekends incandescent with rage that Peppa The Pig has replaced Bagpuss in our nation's affections. Bonus points if you can convince your friends to dress up as his six children: Bartholomew, Bugaboo, Benedictus, Bona Fide, Barbour and Brexit.

Imposter Melania

Sometimes the lies we tell ourselves are the most frightening indication of the state of civilisation. Like the conspiracy theory that Melania is in fact being played by a body double, because her husband (and President of the United States!) is so vile she can't be around him. Imposter Melania is an excellent last minute option because the less you look like her the more committed you are to the spirit of the costume. Just don't subject your son to playing fake Baron. Let Timmy have a childhood.

VR Mark Zuckerberg

One particularly "Please say we're living in a simulation" moment this year was Mark Zuckerberg decision to take a virtual reality tour of a hurricane ravaged Puerto Rico to demonstrate Facebook's new Spaces feature. Zuck is more robot than human at the best of times, but this stunt made Melania's outfit to visit a disaster zone look like a contemplative humanitarian statement. Rope in a friend to play 'Rachel' who, as you can see from above, is not here for Mark's bullshit.