15 Brendan Rodgers Quotes That Would Sound Even More Ridiculous In a Relegation Battle

An ode to the possible return of football's David Brent at Newcastle

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Football's closest equivalent to David Brent has been out of work for five months now, and must be chomping at the bit to apply his unique – and eminently quotable – management philosophy in a new arena.

Could that arena be St James's Park? He is currently among the frontrunners to put Steve Mclaren out of his misery at Newcastle, which makes for a perfect excuse to  countdown the 15 Brendan Rodgers nuggets of pompous wisdom that will sound even more ridiculous in a relegation battle than they did at the other end of the table:

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1.) "I always say a squad is like a good meal. I'm not a great cook, but a good meal takes a wee bit of time. But also, to offer a good meal, you need good ingredients."

2.) "When you've got the ball 65-70% of the time, it's a football death for the other team. We're not at that stage yet, but that's what we will get to. It's death by football. You just suck the life out of them."

3.) "The last 18 months we have been on a magic carpet ride of development but we still have a lot of growth to make."

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4.) "Every player I see as my own son."

5.) "I've always said that you can live without water for many days, but you can't live for a second without hope."

6.) "I will leave no stone unturned in my quest - and that quest will be relentless."

7.) "I use a quote with the players,'Per aspera ad astra', which is Latin for 'through adversity to the stars'."

8.) "When we lost at Stoke last season I got home on Boxing Day night and family and guests were all around the house. I went straight upstairs to my room and didn't come out."

9.) "My biggest mentor is myself because I've had to study and that's been my biggest influence."

10.) "I started coaching for one reason and that was to make a difference for people, not just as footballers but as human beings."

11.) "I believe a young player will run through a barbed wire fence for you. An older player looks for a hole in the fence, he'll try and get his way through it some way, but the young player will fight for you."

12.) "It was a perfect away performance, apart from the first 10 minutes."

13.) "We play with 11 men, other teams play with 10 men and a goalkeeper."

14.) "What I say to the players is this: 'The crown is on your head, my friend. You are the king of your destiny.'"

15.) "I love to run on the streets around here. I love seeing the people going about their business. These are our people. I love running late in the afternoon, when the doors are open and the dinners are on, and you can smell the mince cooking…"

Please come back Brendan, press conferences aren't the same without you.

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