The Conor McGregor Guide To Not Giving A F**k

Repair your brittle ego with some help from Ireland's lariest Gucci-loving loudmouth

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Brash, arrogant, shameless, deluded, barbaric... a monstrous showoff. There's plenty that detractors can say about Conor McGregor's approach to - well - everything, but what you can't deny is how much the two belt UFC champ loves himself. And you need a little bit of that right now, don't you?

Maybe you've been laid off. Maybe you're friends have left you behind. Maybe you've just been through a rough breakup and you're beginning to think about Christmas alone, in the future, aged 67 with nothing but a half-working microwave to keep you company while outside a frigid December rain raps its lonely knuckles against your bedsit window.

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Whatever the reason - with the announcement that the man with a penchant for fast talking, nose crushing, and wearing sunglasses indoors is actually heading for Westeros, we thought it was time we brought the McGregor philosophy for self-confidence to the world.

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Conor McGregor wears clothes like he talks and fights: aggressively. Which is refreshing in a world where the majority of men have begun to look and dress like slightly jaded graphic designers. No sensible navy oxford shirts for him, NO! He wants Gucci mink; he wants backless loafers; he wants red trousers with snakes on them and stuff. He wants high top trainers that cost £1,350 for absolutely no reason at all!

Read however you want to read

Wearing my Pj's on the P.J #GoalTicked @jetsmarter

A post shared by Conor McGregor Official (@thenotoriousmma) on

We're not going to say anything... Are you?

Sunglasses were made to be worn inside

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But wait, there's more!

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Hello id like to order some competition please I don't have any

A post shared by Conor McGregor Official (@thenotoriousmma) on

If there's one specific reason why McGregor has, in his own words, become "the face of the fight game." it's due to his unflinching charisma. He is acerbic, abrasive and without filter. He scatters insults like bread to pigeons, totally indifferent to the perception of his words. And there are a lot of them.

As written in an excellent profile on US Esquire from 2015: "He is so confident and self-possessed, so in command of his body and seemingly of his fate, he fills you with doubt about yours. Most of our social interactions are based on the premise that we've all agreed to follow certain rules. McGregor has not agreed to those rules, he will not, which is unnerving because it makes his behavior unpredictable—you find yourself saying,"You can't do that" or "You must do this," and he does and doesn't do it—but also because he makes you wonder why you've agreed to those rules yourself ."

It's time to tell your boss what you really think! Have that go at your housemate for eating your cheese again! The bastard.

But take your losses like a champ

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In the most-hyped UFC bout of the year, McGregor was choked out by a bigger, tougher, stronger Nate Diaz. The Irishman's self-built invincibility melting as his blood-spattered neck was wrung limp in front of millions. Hubris personified.

But in defeat he was serene, saying: "I will not shy away from it. I will assess it, and I will come back. I panicked a little bit. You win or you learn."

His naysayers wanted a tantrum, they wanted blame. Instead he assessed it, and in August came back, defeating Diaz in a rematch, and in turn rebuilding the foundations of his myth.

Look after your fans

To the little lady who left her phone at home.

A post shared by Conor McGregor Official (@thenotoriousmma) on

Because you'll have fans soon. We swear.

Be proper hard

Conor McGregor
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You know how the toughest kid in school used to saunter around with that infuriating air of primal superiority? But because you were 11 and had only ever shouted at your mum (sorry mum) and younger brother (go f***k yourself Ned), let alone had a fight, you couldn't do anything about it?

Well Conor McGregor is the hardest kid in the year, but all the time.

Because that's the thing with McGregor - he revels in his own arrogance, relishes the negativity. Everyone wants to see a loud mouth fall, but he won't.

Out in the octagon, illuminated and elevated by spotlights and adoration, he seems bigger than his five feet and seven inches. A maelstrom of limbs and movement. A tattoo of a gorilla eating a heart splashed across his chest, he attacks angles and exposures with a clinical, Pythagorean ease. Conor McGregor is a tradesman at work, except his trade is to beat the s***t out of people... and he's really, really good at it.

Just start wearing glasses like Barb from Stranger Things because you fancy it

"You'll do nottin'!"