1 | Proclaiming, “I love this song” during the intro only to discover it’s Westlife.
2 | Sending a rude email about a client to a colleague and, yes, cc’ing the client.
3 | Telling a joke to a crowd before realising that you’ve forgotten the punch line.
4 | Giving the double thumbs up.
5 | Starting a chant at a football match and nobody else joining in.
6 | Putting on a cockney accent to talk to a taxi driver who then drops you in Primrose Hill
7 | Saying, “Any danger of a drink, love?” to a member of the bar staff
8 | Being spotted by a fellow motorist at traffic lights picking your nose, rolling the end product around in your fingers before flicking it out of the window.
9 | Realising you’ve flicked it out of your window and through his.
10 | Slagging someone off only to turn round and find they’re standing behind you.
11 | Sitting beside the shoeless, homeless lady on the tube before realising there is a good reason why the train is full yet there are two free seats beside her.
12 | Sambuca, for obvious reasons.
13 | Being overhead in the bathroom at your in-laws house whilst in the midst of a severe stomach issue
14 | Insisting at the time that Roy Hodgson would be, “a breath of fresh air for the England football team”
15 | Getting sucked into the, “If you could sleep with one of my friends, who would it be?” conversation
16 | Getting the name of your best friend’s wife wrong during your best man’s speech
17 | Calling your prospective new boss Rupert in a job interview when in fact his name is Jason
18 | Barking, “Are you blind?” at someone who bumps into you, only to realise that, yes, they are
19 | Saying “I like your hair” to someone who is undergoing chemotherapy
20 | Giving a fellow motorist a volley of abuse and then stalling your car
21 | Leaving the Etihad stadium when your team is 2-1 down in a Premiership decider
22 | Telling your friends that, “It’s OK, I’ll drive tonight”
23 | Replying “Jihad” when asked at US customs what the purpose of your visit is