The List | 23 Instant Regrets

The moments in life when we wish we could stop and rewind. 

1 | Proclaiming, “I love this song” during the intro only to discover it’s Westlife.

2 | Sending a rude email  about a client to a colleague and, yes, cc’ing the client.

3 | Telling a joke to a crowd  before realising that you’ve forgotten the punch line.

4 | Giving  the double thumbs up.

5 | Starting a chant at a football match  and nobody else joining in.

6 | Putting on a cockney accent to talk to a taxi driver who then drops you in Primrose Hill

7 | Saying, “Any danger of a drink, love?” to a member of the bar staff

8 | Being spotted by a fellow motorist at traffic lights picking your nose, rolling the end product around in your fingers before flicking it out of the window.

9 | Realising you’ve flicked it out of your window and through his.

10 | Slagging someone off only to turn round and find they’re standing behind you.

11 | Sitting beside the shoeless, homeless lady on the tube before realising there is a good reason why the train is full yet there are two free seats beside her.

12 | Sambuca, for obvious reasons.

13 | Being overhead in the bathroom at your in-laws house whilst in the midst of a severe stomach issue

14 | Insisting at the time that Roy Hodgson would be, “a breath of fresh air for the England football team”

15 | Getting sucked into the, “If you could sleep with one of my friends, who would it be?” conversation

16 | Getting the name of your best friend’s wife wrong during your best man’s speech

17 | Calling your prospective new boss Rupert in a job interview when in fact his name is Jason

18 | Barking, “Are you blind?” at someone who bumps into you, only to realise that, yes, they are

19 | Saying “I like your hair” to someone who is undergoing chemotherapy

20 | Giving a fellow motorist a volley of abuse and then stalling your car

21 | Leaving the Etihad stadium when your team is 2-1 down in a Premiership decider

22 | Telling your friends that, “It’s OK, I’ll drive tonight”

23 | Replying “Jihad” when asked at US customs what the purpose of your visit is