When you watch Home Alone as a kid, you're delighted by the way it captures the magic of Christmas, lets you indulge in the fantasy of being as innocent as a child but as independent as an adult, and shows how wonderful it is to have your family around for the holidays (no matter how obnoxious they can be). But when you watch the film as an adult, you can't help but ask yourself one very Grinchy question:
I mean, that house alone sold for $1.585 million in 2012. The films never reveal what it is that Mr. McCallister does for a living, but his expenses indicate that it must be something pretty snazzy. Here's how much he would have spent during the timeline of the films alone:
Home Alone, 1990
15 tickets from Chicago to Paris at Christmas, 11 coach and four first-class ones for the adults.
A non-stop, round trip flight on American Airlines (the airline they flew) would cost a whopping $35, 320. That's not taking into account that airline prices have fallen in the last 30 years, so it probably would have been even more expensive back then.
10 boxes of pizza, which they pay for in cash.
The pizza boy says it's $122.50, which would be about $228 today. That better be some good pizza.
Replacing the basement staircase.
Moving on to the things that Kevin destroyed, his dad would probably need to replace the staircase after he doused it in tar, and rebuild the shelves he tore out of the wall in Buzz's room, which together would cost somewhere between $900 and $1,500 at the very least.
Now, there is some debate about whether Kevin's dad or his uncle actually paid for the trip, given that his mom's phrasing is a bit confusing. If Uncle Rob was the one that flew them out, you really have to wonder what it is he does for a living, especially since he and Aunt Georgette have an insanely opulent penthouse apartment in Paris as well as a huge brownstone on Central Park West in Manhattan.
The sequel, however, is all pops.
Home Alone 2, 1992
14 tickets from Chicago to Miami at Christmas, four first-class ones for the adults and 10 coach (how did we lose one kid?).
American Airlines must have had a deal with the movie since the family seemed to use the airline again in spite of how utterly useless they were at getting a mom home to her kid in an emergency, but one way or another this would have added up to about $9, 927.
A night in one of the Plaza Hotel's "finest suites."
Even though Kevin asked for one of the "finest suites," it's unlikely they would have put them into something as grand as The Royal Suite, which can run up to $30,000 a night and is often reserved for VIP guests. Most likely, he would have been placed in a one-bedroom penthouse suite, which includes butler service and comes to $2,915 for the night.
A night at what looks like the dodgiest motel in Miami.
Did they plan to stay in this murder shack or was this what was closest to the airport? Oh, that's right, it was Uncle Frank's suggestion, since it's where he stayed on his honeymoon. Thanks again, Uncle Frank. While the Dolphine doesn't exist, an equally shady looking cheap motel costs $99 a night around this time. Given the size of the party, they'd probably need space for at least seven beds, bringing the cost up to $693. That's a lot to spend for bedbugs.
A really hideous toy from Duncan's Toy Chest.
It was $23.75, which is $40.86 in today's cash.
13 tickets from Miami to New York on Christmas Eve.
Given that it's a one-way flight, it probably would have come out to about $1,872. Assuming they all got back home in one piece, however, that'd be another $3,150.
About two dozen cans of paint.
Luckily, Uncle Rob's brownstone is under renovation, so the mess that Kevin makes is inconsequential. But someone's gotta pay for all that paint! And at $45 a can, all that wastefulness would come up to around $1,000, though I'm pretty sure that's chump change to Prince Uncle Rob.
Plaza Hotel Room Service.
As we learn from his dad's freakout, Kevin spent $967.43 on room service, which today would be $1,659.33. I can understand his surprise (how much ice cream can you eat in one night?), but at this point I think it's pretty safe to say his dad can afford to foot the bill.
All together, the tally comes up to somewhere in the range of $21, 257 just for Home Alone 2, which is why it's no wonder that there's a pretty extensive theory on the Internet that claims Peter McCallister is a mobster. Me? I think he's just an average Joe who loves his kids ... but probably shouldn't have any more.
