A new Star Wars: The Last Jedi trailer is coming soon, and we're fairly confident it'll give us a better look at the film's main villain. Oh, and Snoke too probably.
"But, but, Snoke's the main villain, isn't he?" we hear a million voices cry out at once.
Please allow us to suddenly silence you with a pretty solid theory – because we're almost certain Snoke is a massive misdirection, and The Last Jedi is about to change the Star Wars franchise forever when it reveals the true big bad of the new trilogy.
If we're right, it's a huge spoiler. If we're wrong, forget we had this conversation.
But before we get to all that, let's talk about Snoke, a character who's been shrouded in secrecy since his very inception.
"It's the first time I've been on set not yet knowing what the character's gonna look like. I mean, talk about secrecy!" said Snoke performer Andy Serkis in his first interview about the character.
Think about that. Why would JJ Abrams and his Force Awakens team be so secretive about the Supreme Leader, if there wasn't something to hide?
Sure, Abrams likes to surround his movies with mystery, but that's just his favoured movie marketing technique. Keeping secrets from the cast and crew (including the person who's PLAYING THE CHARACTER) is next-level stuff.
Before we saw the film, we assumed Snoke would be a huge part of The Force Awakens, and he sort-of was – we got a big hologram that posited him as the new Emperor, the original trilogy's real big bad.
Going by the pattern of the original trilogy, that makes Kylo Ren "the Darth Vader", which certainly fits – the dude wears black leather, has a voice-altering mask and killed his former mentor in front of the film's new Luke.
But Snoke also sort-of wasn't a big part of the movie. We saw too much of him for him to be a mystery, but didn't get enough for him to feel like a proper villain. In A New Hope, we got just a tantalising glimpse of the Emperor. In The Force Awakens, it felt like Snoke was in half the movie, without actually doing anything.
Rian Johnson has said that Snoke's identity isn't terribly important: "He's a dark force: the scary thing behind the thing," the Last Jedi's director said. "That was entirely how I approached Snoke. I wasn't interested in explaining where he came from or telling his history, except where it serves this story."
YEAH, RIGHT.
This narrative conflict is potentially why there are SO MANY theories about who he is. We've covered several, whether it's Anakin Skywalker, Gallius Rax, or Darth Plagueis.
Do these theories exist because The Force Awakens scattered all sorts of clues to explore and follow, or do they exist to fill a void of information? We'd suggest it's the latter and that there's a very good reason for the vagueness.
JJ Abrams and Disney WANT us to be talking about Snoke, because it takes our eyes off the real reveal they've got planned for us.
They have hidden some clues in plain sight – Snoke looks like the hologram from the Wizard Of Oz (a classic cinematic misdirection) and his name sounds like a cross between 'Smoke' and 'Snake' (something used to hide stuff, and something associated with betrayal) – but they definitely want us to think Snoke is an Emperor substitute, Ren is a Vader manqué and the new trilogy's redemption arc will be based around Ben Kenobi.
But here's the thing: if that happens, it won't be very satisfying, or surprising. And that doesn't fit what we've heard about this movie.
One official Japanese Last Jedi poster promised that "the most shocking truth in Star Wars history will soon be revealed".
Adam Driver promised that the film would create "new rules" for the franchise. Daisy Ridley said it will surprise fans.
Does that sound like the film will tread the predictable path laid out by the first film? No, we think we've been set up for a twist as HUGE as the "I am your father" moment in The Empire Strikes Back.
GET READY FOR IT…
That's because we think… drum roll... Luke Skywalker will end up being the real villain of this trilogy. Yes, Luke.
It's something Mark Hamill has wanted for a very long time. Check out this video, shot in 2005, in which he describes pitching Luke going to the Dark Side in Return of the Jedi to George Lucas.
Yeah, the moment where he explains his idea, the camera just so happens to cut to a shot of Disney employees Stan Lee and JJ Abrams, the latter of whom looks for all the world like a significant idea's just been planted in his head.
And there's precedent for Star Wars actors getting what they wanted from Return of the Jedi. Harrison Ford requested he get killed off in the film, and look what happened to him in The Force Awakens.
"When I read 8, I told Rian, 'I fundamentally disagree with virtually everything you've decided about my character'," Hamill said. "But it might be a good sign! I was really wrong about [The Force Awakens]."
That's a pretty big reveal from Hamill, who's usually brilliant at not saying anything at all about the upcoming movies (he pioneered the hashtag #WaitForVIII).
Did the statement accidentally slip out as the result of a sneaky journalist tricking him into giving a massive spoiler? Take a look at the video (for Disney-owned ABC News).
He offers up the info himself, without any real prompting. Almost as if he wanted to say it.
This feels like part of the misdirect: Hamill will know full well fans will be aware he wanted to go to the Dark Side, so what better way to keep it a secret than to say Hamill's unhappy with what's happening with his character in The Last Jedi?
Everything we've seen so far makes perfect sense if Luke's gone to the Dark Side. Whether it's the line in the most recent trailer about how the Jedi needs to end, or the first official poster.
Take a good look at that poster – Luke and Kylo aren't being juxtaposed, they're being connected – they're both bathed in Sith red, they're both referencing Vader in the original New Hope poster.
Does anything about that image makes Skywalker look heroic? Talk about hiding the truth in plain sight!
Imagine the mic-drop moment (lightsaber drop?) of Luke Skywalker revealing he's the mastermind behind Snoke, Ren, and The First Order in The Last Jedi, or that he's in cahoots with Ren to bring them down and take over himself – it's the only thing big enough to justify the 'Episode 8 will shock you' hype we've been hearing.
It also gives Rey a nice three-film arc – search for Luke, find Luke, save Luke – while she's mapping out her own path through the force.
We'll see if there are any new clues in the next trailer – which is rumoured to land on October 9 – but we'll bet good Galactic Credits that a) It'll involve a better look at Snoke and b) It'll be to keep our eyes away from the real reveal, that Luke is actually the main villain of Episode 8.
Search your feelings: you know it to be true.
And if you still don't believe us, check out this theory from Reddit user TheLastJediBigTwist, which includes the reveal that Snoke is an anagram of 'snoek' – a type of herring. As in a red herring.
CASE CLOSED.
Star Wars: The Last Jedi opens in UK cinemas on December 14 and in the US on December 15.
