In the movies, all the awkward moments that occur during sex – swapping positions, banging teeth, tripping out of your trousers and bumping your head off a bedpost – tend to be airbrushed out (unless it’s a Judd Apatow comedy).
The irony, of course, is that this idealisation of bumping uglies is achieved via one of the most embarrassing scenarios imaginable: two people lying on top of each other with a camera, a crew and a (quite possibly irate) director all watching.
A video released on YouTube this week, of Brooklyn Decker and Patrick Wilson filming a sex scene for their new movie Stretch, offers an insight into the fist-chewing process of capturing passion on screen.
In it the two actors lie, face to face, with the crew around them and director Joe Carnahan offering feedback (“When you’re looking at him, really engage with him, like you don’t want to let his eyes go”).
They discuss how to approach the next take (“Is Stretch [Wilson’s character] the kind of guy who’d tell you when he’s going to cum?”), get sprayed by an assistant with artificial ‘sex sweat’ and generally laugh and joke through the whole process (you’d have to, right?). What’s also interesting is that, in between takes, someone on the set blasts out a little light funk, presumably to cover over any awkward silences.
The clip also goes some way to answering what, for men, is the biggest question of all when it comes to sex scenes: how difficult is it to avoid getting an erection? On this evidence, the answer is the probably roughly the same as dropping your trousers for a disinterested nurse in a sterile examination room – i.e. not remotely difficult at all.
So the next time you find yourself feeling jealous of some actor for getting to share a bed with one of the world’s most beautiful women, just remember, it’s probably not all it’s cracked up to be.