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Every Episode Of Twin Peaks, Ranked From Worst To Best

Yes, even some of the first season is bad

By Corey Atad
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Hello, and welcome to a complete ranking of every episode of Twin Peaks (plus the movie) from worst to best. That's 30 episodes and a feature, all carefully collated in order of quality for your enjoyment. I know what you're thinking: "How can you possibly rank every episode of Twin Peaks?" you'll ask. "It's not possible, or at the very least not reasonable. The show is heavily serialized. Episodes blend together across story arcs. Ranking is an arbitrary endeavor to begin with. Most of the show is bad!" All those things are true, and yet here we are.

Most people will tell you that Twin Peaks experiences a heavy drop-off in its back half after the killer is revealed and then caught. Those people are correct—oh boy, are they ever correct. There are not-so-great episodes throughout, however, including in the early going of the first season. In fact, it's safe to say that, for the most part, episodes not directed by David Lynch suffer greatly for it. That may be good news for people worried about the Twin Peaks revival on Showtime, considering Lynch is directing every episode.

31. "Variations on Relations"—Season 2, Episode 19

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The worst of the worst of Twin Peaks, with lots of weirdness, but every bit of it silly. Windom Earle, the series' back-half villain and Agent Dale Cooper's former partner, puts a guy in a giant chess piece and shoots him with a crossbow while shocking Leo with an electric collar. Throw in a terrible wine-tasting scene and Cooper's date with Annie (played by Heather Graham!), and you've got yourself a pretty insufferable hour of TV.

30. "Wounds and Scars"—Season 2, Episode 17

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Annie's first appearance, an insanely drunk Sheriff Truman, Nadine trying to get a room at the Great Northern with her new high-school aged boyfriend, and a weasel on the loose at a fashion show. What were they thinking?

29. "Slaves and Masters"—Season 2, Episode 15

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There's a lot of James in this episode, and nobody cares about James. Agent Rosenfield returns, but that minor good is outweighed by the Nadine super-strength nonsense, the further torment of Windom Earle, and the full-on indulgence of the Ben Horne Civil War delusion/obsession.

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28. "Dispute Between Brothers"—Season 2, Episode 10

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The first episode after Laura Palmer's killer (spoiler alert: it was her father, Leland Palmer) is discovered by police and dies. This is the reset episode, set around Leland's funeral, and a clear sign of the trouble ahead for the series. All the juice is gone, and the show has now been taken over by its worst story arcs.

27. "On the Wings of Love"—Season 2, Episode 18

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David Lynch's Agent Gordon Cole shows up in this episode, which is fun, but hardly enough to distract from a seriously silly adventure in spelunking, and Sheriff Truman almost getting murdered by a lady with a wire early in the episode.

26. "Double Play" - Season 2, Episode 14

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So. Much. James. My god, nobody cares. And the reanimated Leo plotline? Kill me.

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25. "Checkmate"—Season 2, Episode 13

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Ben Horne is on his Civil War kick, Andy and Tremayne try to figure out whether the orphan kid killed his own parents, Nadine uses her new strength to save Ed, and Cooper finds a body pointing at a chess set, left by Windom Earle. It's just no fun at all.

24. "The Black Widow"—Season 2, Episode 12

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Cooper decides he wants to live in Twin Peaks, and gets a real estate agent to show him a place called Dead Dog Farm. More of Nadine's super-strength. A redheaded girl who practically bewitches men into falling in love with her. Messages about Cooper being sent into space? At least this episode had Molly Shannon.

23. "Masked Ball"—Season 2, Episode 11

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Ben Horne is slowly losing his mind while the hunt for Major Briggs is on. Oh, and SO much Catherine. Why is Catherine even still in this show? One bright light is David Duchovny's great character, Denise Bryson, who arrives in Twin Peaks as part of the investigation into Cooper's cross-border adventurism.

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22. "Miss Twin Peaks"—Season 2, Episode 21

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The series' penultimate episode. Still bad, but so much goes on that at least it remains mildly engaging. We've got Cooper figuring out how the doors to the White and Black Lodges work, and some quality BOB scares. But then there's Leo and tarantulas, Dr. Jacoby conducting couples therapy, the reveal that Donna is Ben Horne's daughter, and the incredibly ridiculous Miss Twin Peaks pageant, featuring an umbrella dance. Oh boy.

21. "The Path to the Black Lodge"—Season 2, Episode 20

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Meanwhile, the antepenultimate episode has such ridiculous scenes as Audrey Horne saying goodbye to Billy Zane, but not before telling him she's a virgin and having sex with him on his plane. There's the reveal of the Black Lodge, which is cool. But there's still way too much Windom Earle, more silliness with Leo, and more time devoted to the Miss Twin Peaks pageant.

20. "The Condemned Woman"—Season 2, Episode 16

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Look, most of this episode is just boring or unpleasant to watch. BUT! It also features the crazy ending in which Josie Packard is revealed as an evil killer, then dies suddenly, then BOB appears, and the dancing dwarf (aka The Man From Another Place), and to top it all off we see that Josie is actually still alive—her soul is trapped inside a wooden drawer knob. It's crazy enough that it takes a terrible episode a couple notches up to merely bad.

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19. "The One-Armed Man"—Season 1, Episode 5

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We've finally gotten to it. The first episode of Season One that's just not up to snuff. The first season may be remembered as great, but individual episodes were still sometimes a chore. They were still figuring out the tone, and how the balance of soapiness and weirdness. Laura Palmer's cousin appears in this one, and Cooper and Truman find the One-Armed Man. It's fine, I guess, but boring.

18. "Laura's Secret Diary"—Season 2, Episode 4

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The episode opens with a very cool sequence spinning through Leland's head, and Leland confesses to killing Jacques last season. There's a strange judge character. But there's also Catherine dressed as a Chinese businessman. It's problematic.

17. "Cooper's Dreams"—Season 1, Episode 6

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A real in-betweener of an episode. Cooper follows the premonitions in his dreams to track down more details of Laura's murder. Meanwhile, there's more plot with Laura's cousin Maddy, and Audrey getting a job at her father's department store. It ends with Shelly shooting Leo. Exciting, sort of.

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16. "Traces to Nowhere"—Season 1, Episode 2

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The second episode of the series, and the first after the feature-length pilot. This is the one that's supposed to set the template for how the series will work from week-to-week. The answer, in this case, is by being kind of bland. It's a show still getting its rhythms straight, but that's okay.

15. "The Orchid's Curse"—Season 2, Episode 5

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This episode features a lot of Donna and Harold, the recluse botanist, but it's actually kind of great. There's Cooper finding Audrey's note saying she's gone up to One Eyed Jacks. Leland goes to court. Of course, it all starts with Cooper standing upside down, talking to Diane on his tape recorder. Not the greatest episode, but good, and it moves with some energy. A good kind of middle-of-the-road.

14. "Realization Time"—Season 1, Episode 7

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The second-to-last episode of Season One is filled with great forward momentum, including an undercover expedition to One Eyed Jacks, Audrey undercover there, too, and the plan to steal a tape Laura recorded from Dr. Jacoby. Plus, it's got the famous scene of Audrey tying a cherry stem into a knot with her tongue.

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13. "Arbitrary Law"—Season 2, Episode 9

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Leland is finally caught for murdering his daughter under the influence of BOB. Perhaps the greatest moment in the episode is Cooper realizing that he and Laura shared space in the same dream. Kind of a mind-bendy, time-twisty revelation. Not to mention the genuinely emotional end to Leland's story.

12. "The Man Behind the Glass"—Season 2, Episode 3

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Lots of investigation in this episode, which is always a nice thing. There's the reveal that the One-Armed Man knew BOB, Leland gets arrested for killing Jacques, and Donna finds Laura's secret diary.

From: Esquire US
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