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1Yoann Gourcuff
Bear Grylls//Digital Spy More like Yoann Gour-cuffed to a sense of overwhelming existential dread.
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2Gilberto Silva
Bear Grylls//Digital Spy More like Gil-hurt-o Silva.
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3Aaron Lennon
Bear Grylls//Digital Spy More like Aaron Le-aning on you in his time of need.
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4Ryan Taylor
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5David De Gea
Bear Grylls//Digital Spy More like David De Bray-a.
(Miriam-Webster defines 'Bray' as: the loud, harsh cry of a donkey or mule.)
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6Oscar
Bear Grylls//Digital Spy More like "and the Oscar for the 'Saddest Footballer' goes to Oscar"
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7Fernando Torres
Bear Grylls//Digital Spy More like Fernando's internal war-es.
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8Jaap Staam
Bear Grylls//Digital Spy More like Jaap throwing his toys out of the pram.
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9Chris Smalling
Bear Grylls//Digital Spy More like Chris Frown-ing!
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