With only a matter of days - or hours if you're keen - until this year's Glastonbury, it's likely you've already packed your 'festival fashion', planned how to make the journey with minimum trauma and carefully highlighted Earth, Wind & Fire on your laminated schedule.
But it is a truth universally acknowledged that when you actually get to festivals - particularly ones as huge and bewildering as Glastonbury - nothing ever goes to plan, whether it's the weather, your tightly planned schedule or simply losing everyone you went with by 11.35 on the Thursday.
Luckily, help is afoot. Drawing on our own experiences - and the very useful Reddit Glastonbury thread - we've come up with five insider hacks that will leave you feeling like the King of Worthy Farm this year.
1 | Pick the perfect camping spot
Each camping area has a reputation for different merits and pitfalls. If you're trying to have a relatively restorative time the Dairy Fields are a way from the main stages so are usually quite quiet, or try the Big Ground camp site which has the only flushing loos. Mind, you are right next to the family zone, so careful with telling your mate to 'eff off too loudly.
If you want to be in the thick of it, Pennard's Hill and Park Home are near the Aracadia and Shangri La areas so you'll be good for an all night party. If your boss wouldn't let you sneak off early or you took a few wrong turnings (avoid that here) then Hitchin Hill is a good bet to get a late spot - try to get as high as you can if it is going to chuck it down though.
The hack? This 360 degree view of Glastonbury is a good way of getting your bearings and not totally messing it up by parking next to the all night vegan didgeridoo symposium. Study it before you go for both practical and exciting-inducing purposes.
2 | Discover the secret sets
There is nothing more infuriating then getting back from what you thought was a brilliant weekend only to hear your flatmate's boyfriend saw Fatboy Slim play in front of three people at this "tiny super intimate" gig inside a Mr Whippy van.
The Twitter account Secret Glastonbury posts tip offs and confirmed sets with locations, follow it over the weekend for surprise perfomances as they happen. If you're not bothering with a smart phone over the weekend, this very useful SMS service will text your Nokia 3310 what the account tweets.
3 | Find the cheap food
Increasingly good food offerings are undoubtedly one of the highlights of Glasto, but if you're not careful by Saturday morning you realised you've spent most of your budget on mac 'n' cheese and might have sell body parts to get home. Thankfully the 'Food For a Fiver' scheme is returning this year - just look for the sticker on food outlets and you can keep costs down with anything from Thai to Mexican to Caribbean meals.
4 | Sneakily watch the Euros:
In the spirit of remaining edgy and unhelpful, Glastonbury has confirmed they will not be showing any of the Euros games at the festival. Although England won't be playing again until next Monday (and you really should have gone home by then) if you can't live without seeing if Bale knock one in on Saturday check the charging tent, which showed the football during the last World Cup.
Failing that this year EE have placed 4G hedges all over the festival where you will be able to access free wi-fi and stream the games. Arrive with enough time to wade through crowds of girls in flower headbands uploading their weekend selfies.
5 | Find your mates fast
For the second year, the Festival Medical Service will be using a GPRS grid location system designed by tech company What3Words. The app gives a unique three word combinations for every 3x3 sq meter of the whole festival site.
If you clash heads moshing to Adele and need first aid - or just can't find your drunk friend - the app will give you three words to share your exact location (The Park Stage is "each.wealth.variation" for e.g.), Best of all you can even use What3Words offline, so don't worry about losing signal and yelling you're "by the black tent near the loo" down your phone.