How many locker rooms has Donald Trump visited in his life? Enough, it seems, to know that real, honest, hardworking men love nothing more than gathering with their mates in a sweaty hotbox of pit stink, and sharing some lighthearted banter about their latest acts of serious sexual assault.
Except, that didn't ring true to our experience. Or anybody else's, for that matter. And men across the globe made their feelings clear: Donald Trump and his words weren't welcome in any locker room they'd ever stepped foot in.
For their part, BBC Radio 4 sent their 'Locker Room Correspondent' down to a Newham football team to find out if Trump's worrying defence held any water.
The far majority of those interviewed admitted to talking about women behind-the-scenes, but firmly distanced themselves from Trump's stomach-churning rhetoric of sexual harassment and violence.
One player reasoned: "In the changing rooms the guys will say "That girl's sexy" […] but he took it graphic, he made it obscene, it was uncensored and morally wrong, and it's a shame."
"There's no one like him on this planet. He's alone. As men, we're ashamed that he's a man."
But back in the studio, there seemed to be at least one man who saw reason in The Donald's madness.
After inviting Laura Bates, founder of the Everyday Sexism project, into the studio for a discussion on the issue, presenter Justin Webb decided to take the conversation down an unexpected path.
"The serious issue" said Webb, "Is whether men in 2016 together are allowed to talk about women in a sexual manner without feeling guilty about it"
Is it, Justin? Justin mate. Is it?
Bates, taken aback by Webb's bizarre distortion of the topic, responded: "I think we're conflating two completely different things here. Yes of course I think everybody needs a space to talk about sex and relationships. But there's no reason whatsoever why that has to mean being derogatory and talking about somebody in a way that demeans them and talks about assaulting them."
Webb continued to argue his point, before Webb shot back with politically resonant finishing blow.
"Complimenting someone – I think we would all say a compliment is acceptable, couldn't be further from what this conversation is about. And I think that matters. It matters that someone at the Today programmed has heard these outrageous comments by Donald Trump and gone 'Hey, let's have a debate about whether men should be able to have a safe space to say certain things about women.'
"The reason I say that is because that's why someone like Donald Trump can get away with this kind of thing still be on the verge of becoming the most powerful man in the world because we mitigate it, we downplay it and we brush these things under the carpet."