How to "jizz" up your viral video

 

The Lonely Island, the trio behind “Dick in a Box”, “Jizz in my Pants” and the Grammy-nominated “I Just Had Sex” explain how you too can rack up 600 million views on YouTube by getting Michael Bolton to dress up as a pirate.

Tip 1: You can only ask
“It’s very surprising and awesome how much people are willing to play with their image. Every time we do a song, we send it to someone to see if they would be interested in doing it and Andy [Samberg] will mock up Akon’s part or Michael Bolton’s part. But whatever guest artist is on the track it’s always so much funnier, because it’s so much funnier hearing Akon talk about how a woman let him put his penis inside her.”

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Tip 2: Cool guys finish last
“Over time, we’ve realised we are mostly the butt of our own jokes but we do not make fun of the music. On ‘Jack Sparrow’, we’re the straight men ‘alley-ooping’ Michael Bolton; he gets all the funny parts. We are trying to posture and be something we are not and make a club hit and be cool guys with women and he just comes in and has a great time.”

Tip 3: Keep it short and sweet
“It’s hard to hold people’s attention spans nowadays, particularly on the internet. We tend to have stuff that is under three minutes because that seems to be the length you can take a comedy song.”

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Tip 4: If you can’t get Rihanna, don’t worry
“The video that got us noticed was ‘Lazy Sunday’ in December 2005, which we made by ourselves and shot on the street for nothing, just the costs of the videotapes. Certainly in hindsight, we got very lucky timing wise, because we’d just got jobs at Saturday Night Live and then right around that time YouTube was invented but no one had heard of it yet. We definitely feel extremely lucky to be paid any money for something we would be doing for free.”

Tip 5: People like jokes about jizz
“We do make some jokes that aren’t about that but they are decidedly less popular. The songs that tend to do well are about our penises or stuff coming out of our orifices. The really gross things. Sorry, that’s a horrible quote.”

The Lonely Island’s album Turtleneck & Chain is out now