As any WKD-veined nightclub vet will attest, there's only one way to deal with being turned away at the door: inhale two sloppy doners at record speed, engage in a weirdly heated argument with a stranger about burger sauce, and then have a quiet little sob in the back of an Uber. Sorted.
One action plan we wouldn't suggest is launching into a rambling, racist tirade at said nightclub's Facebook page. In short, don't be like Deborah Smith, 44, from Somerset.
The Metro reports that, after being turned away from Weston-super-Mare nightclub The Loft, Deborah took aim at the clubs 'oliver skinned' doorman online.
Posted at 3.30am on Saturday, Smith wrote: 'Well funny that, because I'm now home sad so annoyed because, I can coherently type this post, with correct spelling, touch typing, yet too p***ed to get into a f****** club in West Super.
'Too p*****? Assumed buy (sic) a god dam foreigner? In my country? England!!!!
'Born in Somerset Euro and told I am too w******d by some olive coloured T***!' she continued.
'In all my years of getting w******d in Weston, to be told in my in my 40s. Britain is not BRITAIN anymore.
'Dictactated (sic) to by some olive coloured f****** a*******, pumped up by a position (not of stature) but of authority (nonetheless) telling ME (A WHITE, BRITISH FEMALE) âEuro ¦I'm not allowed in a club?
'Well lets put it very clearly! NATIONAL FRONT? Here I come!!!
'NOT IN MY COUNTRY MATE! NOT IN MY HOME TOWN!!! NOT WHEN I LOVE EVERYONE WHEN P*****!!!!! AND MOST DEFINITELY NOT IN MY 40S.'
She then added: 'I was not racist before, hey but f*** am I now!!!
Needless to say, The Loft has some choice words for the National Front's latest member.
They wrote: 'It certainly made us grimace that even in today's society there are such dim lights still flickering in the background harbouring such racist and personally disgusting views towards other human beings.
'We have a society of acceptance and tolerance within the UK yet there are people who still exist with such outdated and outrageous beliefs of racial hatred.
'Did you not for one second think that the door staff could have been British citizens with a proud heritage?
'As for 'olive coloured f****** a******, what colour would you prefer the doormen to be in your country?'
'Is there a particular shade of white that is acceptable?
'Maybe you feel it should be part of the interview process, to hold candidates against a colour chart and deviations shall not be permitted past a shade either side.
'The rules the door staff are following are those set by an institution you may have heard of known as the British Government and it's a pesky legislation called the licensing act.
'Fancy those 'god dam foreigners' as you like to call them upholding English rules.'
Game, set and match. Something tells us she won't be turning up at the door anytime soon.