Here's What Theresa May Gave Donald Trump For Christmas

And what it really means

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Donald Trump has given his first UK interview since becoming the US president-elect.

To absolutely no one's surprise he opted to give the exclusive to Rupert Murdoch's Times and uncooked mixed grill-faced Brexit cheerleader Michael Gove, who flew over to Trump Towers to spend an hour chatting about potential trade deals with Britain, What The EU And Angela Merkel's Frickin' Problem Is (immigration, natch) and how much Trump's mother loved the Queen.

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Among other fascinating details to emerge from the fluff piece hard-hitting interview - in which the next President of the United States again referred to himself in the third-person, a bit like The Rock - was that our own noble leader Theresa May sent him a Christmas present.

What to buy the man who has everything? A copy of Winston Churchill's address to the American people delivered shortly after the attack on Pearl Harbour, apparently.

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Interesting. Churchill, of course, has long been shorthand for the kind of Blighty Tories and Brexit voters want us to return to, when our leaders spoke their minds, smoked cigars and stuck it to the Gerries every now and then.

By sending Trump a (presumably gold-plated) bit of Churchill nostalgia, May was perhaps saying: "Look, I know I've never won a general election, fought a war or given a convincing speech or anything, but never mind all that - we're on our way back to the 50s! And like that Nigel Farage character, you're going to love 50s Britain, Donald. It's gonna be 'yuge'."

Then there is the choice of speech itself. In the aftermath of Japan's 1941 attack on America - we've all seen the Ben Affleck film, so no need to go over the specifics - Churchill got his sizeable backside over to the White House within weeks in order to butter up FDR and the Joint Session of Congress. His aim was to shore up America's involvement in the war, which of course worked which is why you're not reading this in German, etc.

The speech was classic Churchill - booming, witty, laced with rhetoric that makes you feel vaguely like saluting even as you read it in your bedroom alone in your underwear - and was a key moment in forging the 'special relationship' we've been anxiously trying to preserve ever since.Because of course the real message buried in May's Christmas present to Trump was the same one buried in Thatcher twerking with Reagan at his inaugural ball and Blair licking Bush's hand while promising him we'd ride into Iraq 'no matter what' - please, please be our bestest friend forever America.You always sensed Obama found the whole 'special relationship' stuff unpleasant - who wouldn't, looking across the table at David Cameron - but Trump? You just know he's going to love being sucked up to more than any president in history.

You can imagine him now, can't you? Sat on Christmas morning, eagerly opening May's present with his stubby little fingers, hoping for KFC vouchers or perhaps a pair of cufflinks with his own face on them and instead seeing words - lot of them, way more than 140 characters - before tossing it onto a pile with all the other world leader gifts, Churchill's speech unread but the message firmly understood.