President-elect and hot stone massage receptionist Donald Trump was always going to have a hard time booking star musicians for his inauguration.
After all, 99.9% of the entertainment industry spoke out against him in the election. With every passing day, it seemed like a fresh chart-topper had ruled themselves out of a lucrative appearance on Trump's stage.
It was expected, then, that Trump would attempt to top Obama's celebrity-drenched inauguration by reeling in a host of jingo-peddling country & western stars. It would at least quench the appetite of his follower base, most of whom value bad hats over literally everything else in the world.
But we didn't expect this:
Go out onto the street. Pick a randomer. Give them 200 English pounds and ask them to organise a music line-up for any event. It is inconceivable that they would come up with something worse than this.
With the exception of Toby Keith, who very much falls into popular strong-jawed hat-wearer safe zone, this is a complete shitshow of a line-up. This reads like a music festival organised in 2 hours through Craigslist.
3 Doors Down? Tony Orlando? One half of Sam & Dave? Some of the Rockettes? This is veering far too close to so bad it's good territory for our liking. Have a listen to some of their greatest hits below: