Why The Super Rich Are Heading To New Zealand To Escape The Impending Apocalypse

It's ok, we'll just man the frontline then

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A far-off land of deep ravines, soaring glaciers, verdant meadows and sheep... so many sheep; it's little wonder that the world's super rich are investing in New Zealand for when Big Don's super apocalypse arrives (no doubt it will be the best apocalypse we've ever seen. Tremendous).

Tech billionaire and noted Trump supporter Peter Thiel is just the latest in a long line of wealthy Americans who have bought property in New Zealand as a 'retreat'... yeah, yeah, we all know what that means.

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Recently overtaking Singapore as the best place in the world to do business, according to the World Bank; NZ is also the world's least corrupt, while only Iceland, Denmark and Austria are safer.

Tech leaders appear to be the most taken with New Zealand, with LinkedIn co-founder Reid Hoffman telling the New Yorker that the mentioning the country has become something of a trend in Silicon Valley. "Saying you're 'buying a house in New Zealand' is kind of a wink, wink, say no more," he said.

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Thousands of miles from anything and with a population of just 4.4 million, the world's powerful and wealthy are viewing the country as the ideal spot to retreat to when s**t hits the fan.

Some of NZ's handsome natives

"People want to get the hell out of where they are, and they feel that New Zealand is safe," Auckland immigration agent David Cooper told Bloomberg, adding that the country is a good spot to be in when "the world is going to hell in a handbasket".

Fear over the Trump presidency appears to have many regular Americans looking to emigrate, not just Billionaires. In the 48 hours after Don was elected, the New Zealand immigration websites saw a 2,500 per cent increase in traffic, while Visa registrations from Americans have jumped 200 per cent.

Speaking to the Guardian, Iain Lees-Galloway, immigration spokesman for New Zealand's opposition Labour party, said: "The truth is there is a lot of instability around the world. New Zealand is perceived as a very stable, very safe, very friendly country, so I can imagine that not just wealthy people but all kinds of people will be looking at New Zealand and thinking, 'I'd like to live there'.

"We need to be able to respond to that and say we are going to do this on our terms. We are going to respond to the new reality on our terms."

Great... just great.