Whether it is dives worthy of Swan Lake or players rolling on the floor as though they've just been hit by a freight train, sportsmanship isn't what it used to be in the beautiful game.
For evidence look no further than Ajax's Joël Veltman, who last Sunday produced the least sporting football tactic in modern history. Ajax were leading 2-0 at home against Sparta Rotterdam but Veltman still felt the need to pause momentarily with the ball to point at his injured teammate Bertrand Traoré who was rolling on the floor.
As his opponent paused in good faith to check if Traoré was alive and well, Veltman dummies him and whips away with the ball. The ultimate show of immorality.
"I was just being clever," Veltman explained to the Metro. "Bertrand went down and I thought to myself 'I am going to use this to my advantage'. I pretended to kick the ball out of play, but when my opponent looked behind him, I just went past him instead. I know that it was perhaps not the most beautiful thing to do, but it was just something clever, nothing more. I can have a good laugh about it"
"I think people are exaggerating all this a bit," he backtracked, "It was not like I found myself one-on-one with the goalkeeper after it."
Somewhere a lightbulb is going off in Mourinho's head, you heartless bastard.