Dangerous, explosive, clinical, menacing, calm, reliable, incisive... all words that you would not use to describe Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain, but that hasn't stopped Liverpool from waving Andy Carroll money in Arsene Wenger's face in order to secure his services next season.
Most often spotted trying to outdo Theo Walcott in the just-sort-of-running-around-a-lot-maybe-something-will-happen-soon stakes, according to a Telegraph exclusive, Liverpool are not put off by Arsenal's £35million valuation of the 23-year-old winger.
Having risen through the ranks of Southampton's famed youth system, Oxlade-Chamberlain has done little to justify the hype in recent years, with most of his time seemingly spent on having the league's worst haircut.
Despite coming into the final year of his contract soon, Arsenal will be looking to secure as much as possible for an English player who could still reach his full potential.
Liverpool, however, are confident of driving that price down, and will use manager Jurgen Klopp, as well as homegrown players like Adam Lallana, Jordan Henderson and Nathaniel Clyne as a lure to Anfield.
Along with Chamberlain, Arsenal have plenty of potential head aches arriving imminently, with star players Mesut Ozil and Alexis Sanchez both itching for moves, along with the tumultuous tenure of Arsene Wenger yet to be officially extended.
It must feel good to be a Spurs fan right now.