One of the hardest aspects of being a professional sportsman must be keeping your mind focused despite all the external distractions: the bright lights of the stadium, the taunts of your opponent, the sound of people having wild sex with each other in the crowd... wait – what?
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And yet, during the Sarasota Open in Florida this week, tennis players Frances Tiafoe and Mitchell Krueger were indeed stopped mid-point by the unmistakable sound of a two humans mid-coitus.
Credit: youtube / Foam A. Lime
Initially, it is assumed someone is 'merely' playing loud pornography on their phone.
"Well, that is the most bizarre situation. I don't know how to put this, folks. Someone's phone went off in the stands...and it was an adult video," says the commentator, keeping his cool in a way you suspect would have been beyond Tim Henman if this had been Wimbledon.
No problem! You imagine the sorry sucker in the crowd saying Must have gone off in my pocket, hahaha, sorry! I'll just switch it off now!
Except it keeps going.
At this point, player Tiafoe serves a different kind of ace by pausing play to shout "It can't be that good!"
And then the man on the mic finally cracks the case. "No, that's not a phone," he says. "That's an apartment across the lake."
Ah, mystery solved. The lesson here? Only ever agree to play professionally in a closed stadium, otherwise you may have more than polite applause and the occasion murmur of 'too good' to put you off your game.