Neither the Queen nor Prince Philip are dead, Buckingham Palace has been forced to confirm as an 'emergency meeting' was called for all staff.
Everyone who works at the palace has bee summoned – even those currently elsewhere in the country – by the Royal Household's most senior official, the Lord Chamberlain.
"This is very strange. In the decade that I worked there I can't remember anything like this happening," a former Palace worker told the Metro.
"Everyone is on tenterhooks. Although meetings involving the entire royal household are occasionally called, the way this has been done at the eleventh hour is highly unusual and suggests that there is something major to be disseminated. But at the moment, only those closest to her genuinely know what on earth this is all about.," said the Daily Mail's souce.
Meanwhile, the French media wasted no time in speculated that 95-year-old Prince Philip had died, forcing the palace to respond with "You could safely assume the Queen and Prince Philip are not dead" and there is no cause for concern regarding the 10am meeting.
So what's your money on?
"The Queen and Prince Philip have decided they're bored shitless hearing about Brexit and politely request you all knock it orf for a bit"?
"The Queen and Prince Philip have decided to attend all future public appearances by hologram."?
If it's just a banal staffing announcement about overtime or an intern investigation into who is stealing the Queen corgi biscuits, the Daily Express is going to be devastated. Time will tell.