Avocados, not only a large, trendy berry native to Mexico (they're berries, Wikipedia it, man), but also the reason why you can't afford a house... at least according to an Australian property mogul.
Featuring all the hallmarks of a modern Twitter storm sensation, including an out of touch tycoon, the over-analysis of the role that avocado plays in modern society, and flippant commentary on the crippling property market, Tim Gurner - who is responsible for $3.8bn in projects in the Melbourne area - has suggested that we'd all be able to afford houses if we could just Stop. Eating. Brunch.
Tim Gurner, a man who definitely, definitely goes on holiday to Dubai twice a year and had Lamborghini posters in his bedroom until he was 27, says that millennials need to put down the flat whites and smashed avo' if they want to join the property game.
"When I was trying to buy my first home, I wasn't buying smashed avocado for $19 and four coffees at $4 each," he said. "We're at a point now where the expectations of younger people are very, very high."
You've just made that up, Tim. You've made that figure and scenario up and now the internet is angry at you.
He added: "We are coming into a new reality where … a lot of people won't own a house in their lifetime. That is just the reality." Asked if he believes young people will never own a home, he responded: "Absolutely, when you're spending $40 a day on smashed avocados and coffees and not working. Of course."
"When I had my first business when I was 19, I was in the gym (got to get those gains, bro) at 6am in the morning, and I finished at 10.30 at night, and I did it seven days a week, and I did it until I could afford my first home. There was no discussions around, could I go out for breakfast, could I go out for dinner. I just worked."
Gurner's comments have been compared to recent remarks by US congressman Jason Chaffetz, who suggested people struggling to afford health insurance should stop buying smartphones. "Maybe rather than getting that new iPhone that they just love and they want to go spend hundreds of dollars on that, maybe they should invest in their own healthcare," he said.
Because basic human rights and affordable housing are a PRIVILEGE and those millennials with their Kardashian shows and Snapchats and wholegrain toast are just too unrealistic. Just LOOK AT ME and how hard I worked for all of this.
The blood-boiling irony of a man who makes his living out of flipping property for profit, pontificating about the moral failures of the people who - due to the actions of men like him - are priced out of said property.
But hey, at least you worked hard for it all, Tim.