Fashion Week: Bright lights, flashbulbs, Evian. The dim glow from the gentrified bar, swirling with influencers, fixers, buyers, editors, hangers-on and £100,000 worth of ironic trainers.
"What's he wearing?"
"Is that Balenciaga?"
"God, I hate that guy.... The one over there."
"What time is it?"
Away from the runways, it can get a little dull.
But then, appearing from the mist like a slouchy crusader against the narcissism and dumb hats, a wild Jake Gyllenhaal appears. A guy who evidently does not give a horsebit loafered, patent leathered f*ck about what he wears to New York Fashion Week.
Praise be to you, Jake: our new Normcore King.
Obviously helped by his 0.01% genes, Jake bowled up to the opening of New York Fashion Week in an outfit that was totally... regular. And it was glorious.
Like a more refined version of Leo's 'dad cap and cargo shorts' lady-killing combo, Jake's low-key sweatshirt, boots and black jeans set-up was beautiful in its total disregard for the peacock norms of fashion's elaborate festival of excess and trendy parties.
While we would never discourage being bold and experimenting with your clothes, there's something special about an A+++-lister managing to stand out from the crowd by wearing as plain an outfit as possible.
Having Jake Gyllenhaal's face obviously helps a bit, too.
But let's not dwell on that...
Here are some nice grey sweatshirts instead.
Fairview Mélange Fleece-Back Cotton-Jersey Sweatshirt, £180, mrporter.com
Y-3, Slim-Fit Printed Loopback Cotton-Jersey Sweatshirt, £130, mrporter.com
Sunspel, Brushed Loopback Cotton-Jersey Sweatshirt, £95,