Gareth Bale Turned Manchester United Because He Enjoys Winning

But the Community Shield is a big deal, Gareth?

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Gareth Bale, the valley-born human horse who decimated Maicon's career and ended up at Real Madrid with his V8 engine Power Thighs and a world-beating strategy that went: "Kick it really hard and then run faster than the defender and get the ball again", has long been touted as the player to take Manchester United back to the top (no, not of the Europa League, silly). But the man himself isn't so keen.

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Why?

Because he likes winning big trophies, that's why.

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Speaking to the Daily Mail about why chose not to join Mourinho's band of League Cup-conquering super stars this year, the 28-year-old acknowledged that "There's an argument" for becoming the main man at a club, but silverware was ultimately more important to him.

"I think the main thing, when you look back on your career, is that you look at your trophies. In the end that's probably the most important thing."

It's tough to argue against a guy who, in fours seasons at Real Madrid, has won the Champions League three times; as well as the league and a couple of Copa del Reys.

He also admitted that he might not be able to hold back if he was to score against Spurs - one of Real's Champions League group stage opponents - which might ruffle a few feathers in north London.

"I scored against Spurs in a pre-season game a couple of years ago and I didn't really celebrate then," he added.

"I suppose it depends on how you feel on the day. If it's a 91st-minute winner, can you control yourself? That's the question."

It might be quite difficult, Gareth, to be fair...