Who is the fastest player in the Premier League?
Is it Theo Walcott, the 28-year-old up-and-coming talent with the one-world-class-game-a-season C.V. and the biscuit ankles?
Is it Sadio Mane with his mad haircuts and electric gait?
Is it Jamie Vardy, fuelled by non-league hunger, 10,000 WKDs and the dreams of a nation?
Is it Way... we'll stop you there, because it's not Wayne.
No, it is in fact Leroy Sane, Manchester City's evidently-very-fast winger, who has taken the fleet-footed golden crown of the Premier League's premier speed merchant after he was clocked running at 35.48 kilometres per hour (22.05 mph) against Chelsea last weekend.
To put that into context, if Sane could sustain that pace over 100 metres, he would have qualified for the semi-finals at the last Olympics, which is quite interesting, isn't it?
The speed record was previously held by Jamie Vardy, who after learning of his dethroning, will surely be back on a strict champion's diet of Skittles vodka and potato smiley faces.