Turns Out Pep Guardiola Was Really, Really Into Tony Pulis

"He was an amazing man, so gentle"

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One is a cultured, cashmere-clad visionary who builds sides that conquer Europe and whose tactics and teams are poured over by the elite of the coaching world, the other will fight you naked in the shower (adidas cap still on, we presume) if you've missed a challenge or not put in enough crosses.

But it turns out that Pep Guardiola and Tony Pulis are actually great friends, with the former calling the pugnacious creator of 'Pulisball' an "amazing man, so gentle."

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"First, I can say a big hug for Tony, like before with [former West Ham boss Slaven] Bilic," Guardiola told a news conference yesterday after being told of Pulis' dismissal from his role at West Brom.

"Today, it is like this. When I was young, they said in England they respected a lot the contracts and the managers were never sacked. Now, it is so, so difficult. Wherever, it is the same. We have to accept that, we know that.

"Everybody knows when we don't have results… managers here can win the Premier League and months later they will be sacked. You have to work within that situation.

"I am really disappointed because I have a great relationship with Tony Pulis. Every time we went against West Brom he was an amazing man, so gentle.

"Always, we would drink a good red wine. Hopefully we can do it again in the future."

Oh, you don't believe us?

Definitely better love story than Twilight.

With just two wins in 21 games, Pulis' band of Midland warriors were edging dangerously close to the drop zone, as other teams and managers began to suss out a game plan that typically consisted of: "Kick it really fucking hard up to Salomón Rondon!"

Adios, Tony, may you and Pep sip Château Latour 2009 for eternity.