Carles Puyol Attacked With Giant Dildo In Russia

When will the madness end?

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A story that swept the globe on transfer deadline day 2014, a fateful moment in football coverage history that saw an innocent Sky Sports reporter assaulted by an intimidatingly-sized purple sex toy by a vulgar, heartless fan.

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We thought it was an isolated case... a one off. Security measures were put in place and reporters were banned from standing outside of training grounds, waiting for Harry Redknapp's X5 to turn up.

But we have some terrible news.

It's happened again.

Over in Russia last week as part of the promotion efforts for next year's World Cup, retired Spain and Barcelona legend Carles Puyol got more than just a selfie when two renegade fans whipped out a frankly terrifying rubber instrument before proceeding to whack it right onto his bemused forehead.

"Can you help us? Can you say you love us?" the pair say.

Clearly befuddled, Puyol asks what they're up to, to which one replies: "It is for our video. You have such beautiful hair. You are so pretty."

And then it happens.

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Welcome to Russia. Welcome to hell.