The Manual - How to talk dirty

Being Brits, speaking freely about sex comes as naturally to us as acting does to Keanu Reeves. As ever, the Esquire Manual is on hand to save the day. So here, for your perusal, is our guide to talking dirty, courtesy of the experts at Coco de Mer.

Speak up - The old adage "faint heart never won fair lady" is spot on for dirty talk. Stamp your authority. There's nothing worse than a man mewing naughty nuggets.

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Tone down - Remember Marilyn Monroe singing "Happy Birthday Mr President"? Guys, getting all breathy like that is just as arousing for us women. Hot, quiet and confident - pure verbal foreplay. On no account lapse into a pervy growl though.

Lay down - The vocab laws, that is. Too crass and you'll get a slap, too clean and she'll corpse. It's a fine line. Play with the words filthy, naughty, slut, pussy and cock and see where they take you - remembering to ease into ruder stuff gently. Think boiling frogs.

Open up - Elucidate your wildest fantasies, but do censor mildly. A three-way with her and her sister won't turn her on.

Take her by surprise - A salacious text, or whispering something filthy in her ear by the cashier at the supermarket, can go a long way. She'll know what's coming when she gets home...

By Anisa Topan of Coco de Mer. For more see www.coco-de-mer.com/salons