Though shall not swear

FIFA have denied claims that they issued ‘Swear Guides,’ to the Brazilian match officials taking charge of the England v USA clash on Saturday. We don’t think it’s a bad idea that refs stick up for themselves, although in all honesty, a guide to Scouse would probably be more useful considering Wayne Rooney's short fuse and the sheer depth of of slang produced over by the years by his fellow Liverpudlians. Here are five key phrases that in all probability weren't covered on FIFA’s list.

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“Are-eh he’s a proper alarse, he’s skinny that one, Ref.” Translation: “Pay attention referee, my opponent is cheating”

“Go, ed, yer pure beaut, he’s jargin’ it. He’s a whopper” Translation: “Referee, he’s conning you. He’s faking it.”

“He’s prop’ly minty, la - a scone‘ead, pure meff, lid” Translation: "Don’t take any notice ref, he’s an idiot”

“Is right ref, he’s a balloon, kidda.” Translation: "I agree with your decision mate, this opponent is intellectually sub-standard."

“This divvy is prop'ly doin' me swede in, he's wreckin' me 'ead.” Translation: See above – "he’s really started to get on my nerves"