1 Issue a 'come and get me plea' to your employer's industry competitors.

2 Form an immediate and strongly-worded opinion on your new colleague Chris and whether he’s a good signing for the IT department.

3 Suggest that the hastily put-together festival gazebo went to ground far too easily.

4 Comment on the magic of the cup after your next tea round at work.

5 Speculate whether England's cricketers could do it on a wet Tuesday night in Brentford.

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6 Visit a furniture store and admire the lovely finish on the mahogany coffee table.

7 Invite your mates around for a barbecue and ask Steve why he never turns up with the big matches.

8  Mock the hosts at your next dinner party for the lack of silverware in their cabinet.

9 Do the sign of the cross and look up at the sky before you go through the work security gate each morning.

10 Take each email as it comes.

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11 Get another book in and go for an early bath.

12 Swap shirts and embraces with clients at the conclusion of a successful meeting.

13 Wind your car window down at the exit to the work car park for an imaginary interview with Sky Sports News on transfer targets.

14 Criticise the choice of shirts made by the panel on Question Time and shake your head at how little the MP for Newton Abbot knows about the new corporate taxation laws.

15 Wonder when they will finally be introducing Hawk-Eye technology in the car parking bays at Sainsbury’s.

16 Do all the things around the house that you've been putting off every weekend since last August. (Nah).

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