Having friends you've known since you were a kid is a wonderful thing. Except when it isn't. Here's the sure signs you've been buddies for too long.
1 | They know stories from your past that could get you instantly sacked, dumped or imprisoned.
2 | Any subtle update of your personal style – a new scarf, for instance - makes you nervous about meeting them for a pint.
3 | They’re the reason your new girlfriend knows about your Goth phase.
4 | They can recall by name the girl you lost your virginity to, the woman who first broke your heart and the one with whom you suffered your first bout of inebriated impotency. And frequently do.
5 | The can irritate you just by the way they cough.
6 | If you seek them out for a good adult heart to heart or some grown up advice they will still end it with a wrestle.
7 | When you see them chatting someone up on the other side of a room, you know word for word what they’re saying.
8 | They’re the reason your new girlfriend knows the lyrics you sang in your teenage grunge band.
9 | They can’t just remember your shitty high school nickname – they gave it to you.
10 | If you ever get a haircut beyond a short back and sides, you'll be greeted with an incredulous, "What the fuck is that?"
11 | Whenever you’re feeling proud of some success at work, they consider it their duty to bring you down a peg or two by reminding you you’re a c***.
12 | When you're playing football in the park, they'll be keen to remind all present how you were always shit at school.
13 | They’re the reason your new girlfriend knows about the time you threw up on your own shoes during your first visit to a nightclub.
14 | Tell anyone that you speak a bit of French and they'll be there to remind you how you got 21% in your 4th year mock exam
15 | You can predict their stages of getting drunk like clockwork.
16 | Their parents have added you on Facebook.