20 Things You Only Experience At The Airport

Flying abroad this weekend? Then keep an eye out for these moments...

1 | The need to double-tap your thigh and pocket just to feel the outline of your passport. Every six minutes. For three straight hours.

2 | Wondering why women who work at airports are forced to wear silk neck scarves.

3 | Choosing between folding your flappy boarding pass into your pocket and looking like a slob when you hand it over. Or keeping it intact and fretting that it will slip out of your pocket at any moment.

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4 | Seeing someone crouched awkwardly behind a Coke machine trying to charge their iPhone.

5 | The in-built obsession with securing prodigious quantities of bottled water. For a one hour flight to Paris.

6 | Envying the lone pink-shirted man drinking champagne at the oyster bar. Surely the last person who actually believes in the romance of flying.

7 | Choosing to reject the travelator and walk alongside it, as a feeble statement of personal freedom.

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8 | Then watching your travel companion fade into the distance.

9 | Seeing kids with the same roller carry-ons as their parents and wondering, what the hell is in there?

10 | The one-minute courtesy browse at Dixons – knowing full well you aren’t buying a thing.

11 | Then wondering, "but did I actually pack the power adapter?"

12 | Someone drinking a pint of Guinness at 6am in a pub that isn't a Wetherspoons.

13 | The awkward first moments of a stag do, while everyone's still sober and someone dressed as Spiderman has to introduce himself to the group.

14 | The tension you feel when hitting the security area. Have I picked the right queue?

15 | The strange faux-military gait of a man asked to walk through a metal detector with no shoes on.

16 | And the rush that comes from 'clearing' security without any hiccups.

17 | Wondering why people bother with neck pillows. Then, 20 minutes into the flight, wondering why you don’t own a neck pillow.

18 | Looking at the luggage shop within the terminal and wondering, why?

19 | The guy in too-tight swim shorts and straw hat who still thinks he's on the beach instead of at a windy taxi rank.

20 | The general feeling that you're being punished by God for daring to go on holiday.

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