Small Things That Make You Feel Cool (That Really Shouldn’t)

Those fleeting moments in life when, in your own head at least, you’re the man

1 | Ordering a cocktail without consulting the menu.

2 | Taking a cafetiere into a meeting (and plunging it).

3 | Withdrawing more than £100 at a cash machine.

4 | Using a complicated sequence of keyboard shortcuts.

5 | Being recognised by an attractive woman on the street in the company of your friends.

6 | Potting two balls in a row during a game of pool, then asking for the chalk.

7 | Pulling out a copy of the The Times on the tube while everyone else is scanning The Metro.

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8 | Popping to the garage for a pack of fags on your way to a party while wearing a tuxedo.

9 | Answering any request from your boss with ‘I sent you that last week’.

10 | Buying the non-sale item in a place with an end-of-season sale on.

11 | Guiding a group of late night drinkers to the only dive still open with a nonchalant: ‘Follow me, I know a place’.

12 | Transcending the drudgery of the supermarket shop by carefully selecting cheeses from the deli at the back.

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13 | Folding the pages of a newspaper with ninja-like speed and precision.

14 | Passing through the gates of the tube without breaking your stride.

15 | Cracking an egg with one hand.

16 | Smoking a cigarette at any time between the hours of midnight and 4am.

17 | Going behind a bar, even if you work there.

18 | The moment of fame when your name is called out in a waiting room.

19 | Strolling confidently away from a shop counter after handing over the exact change. No need to wait around – you know it’s right.

20 | Black coffee.

 

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MORE RULES:

Signs you've been friends too long 
How to know you're turining into your Dad 
Reasons you shouldn't be allowed to play FIFA ever again 
***

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