The List

Bad Bears

Most Popular

Introducing Ted, plus six other things that look cute but talk ugly. 

Seth MacFarlane is the comedy polymath behind hit cartoons Family Guy and American Dad! (let us never speak of The Cleveland Show).

Now he’s turning to live action cinema with Ted, the touching story of Mark Wahlberg and his childhood best friend, an adorable CGI teddy bear who drinks, smokes pot and swears like a trucker.

Ted is only the latest cutie pie whose cuddly facade belies an undercurrent of filth:

Advertisement - Continue Reading Below

 

1 Michelle Flaherty from American Pie
For a generation of gawky adolescents, Alyson Hannigan’s Michelle Flaherty was a seminal character (hurrr), subverting her sweet geek persona with now legendary explanations of exactly what happened this one time, at band camp…
Sample quote: “I stuck a flute in my pussy!”

 


2 Cartman from South Park
Perhaps Trey Stone and Matt Parker’s most glorious creation, Eric Cartman is an obese, selfish, anti-Semitic and completely amoral eight-year-old.

Most Popular

He once tricked a schoolboy into eating his own murdered parents.

Sample quote: “Hey, don’t call me fat, you fucking Jew!”

 

3 Bad Idea Bears from Avenue Q
Gleefully trampling on our collective Sesame Street memories, the Bad Idea Bears of hit musical Avenue Q are a smiling twosome of snuggly teddies who lovingly dispense the absolute worst advice imaginable.

Sample quote: “You could hang yourself!” “Yeah! We found this really nice rope!”

4 Azealia Banks
Rose to prominence when her unfeasibly catchy tune “212” more or less caused YouTube to explode last year.

She looks as though butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth. Her lyrics reveal what will melt in her mouth. Clue: it’s your girlfriend’s vagina.

Sample quote: “I guess that cunt gettin’ eaten”

 

5 You & Me dolls
“Look, honey! We got you some ‘Interactive Play & Giggle Triplet Dolls’! Isn’t that nice! You’ve got a new best friend! Wait - what did that one just say? No! Put it down, sweetie! Don’t listen to the bad doll!”

Bizarrely, these children’s toys really do appear to swear - watch.

Sample quote: “You crazy bitch!”

6 Hit-Girl from Kick-Ass
Typical 11-year-old girls do all manner of things. Slicing off people’s legs whilst meting out gruesome vigilante justice is generally not one of those things.

Nor is language that would make Rab C Nesbitt blush. Hit-Girl isn’t a typical 11-year-old.

Sample quote: “OK you cunts, let’s see what you can do now!”

What do you think?

Mascots film
Culture
Share
Watch An Exclusive Clip From Netflix's Hilarious New Film About A Mascot Competition
The comedy packs serious lols​​
Blackberry Phone
Culture
Share
Blackberry Is Shutting Down Its Phone Business
​R.I.P ​​QWERTY
Kanye West
Culture
Share
Kanye Encourages Audience To Shout "F**k Taylor Swift"
Whilst performing in her hometown
Culture
Share
Why Everyone Is Taking Sides On This Controversial New Playboy Photo Shoot
It's more complicated than you think
Culture
Share
This Glorious Mexican Beer Ad Trolled The S**t Out Of Donald Trump
Oh, and it aired during the first presidential debate
Culture
Share
Benedict Cumberbatch Sang Onstage With Pink Floyd's David Gilmour
The pair sang 'Comfortably Numb'
Mark Walhberg
Culture
Share
Mark Wahlberg Talks Success, Fatherhood And Burgers
A quick chat with the Deepwater Horizon actor​
Apple HQ Battersea
Culture
Share
Apple Is Setting Up A HQ In One Of London's Most Iconic Buildings
Welcome to Battersea, America​
Film
Share
Disney Is Remaking The Lion King Because Nothing Left In This World Is Sacred
Jon Favreau: step away from our childhoods​
Justin Vernon
Culture
Share
Album Review: 22, A Million By Bon Iver
​Bon Iver's new album has a spring in its step​