This Week: Winners and Losers

Our heroes and villains from the past seven days

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Author Stephen King is one of the most prolific writers on Earth, with over 120 books to his name. So it was good to see even he dried up when faced with the prospect of being funny and interesting on his new Twitter account this week. He still managed nigh on 200,000 followers in four days.

 

We've highlighted the perils of men's eyebrow grooming on this website before. If it still hasn't sunk in, let Alan Hansen's recent appearance on Match of the Day be a last warning. This year has seen a worrying rise in men willing to sculpt their brows into semi-barren wastelands, simultaneously telling the world that they are both too vain and don't know how to use a pair of scissors. The key is to stick to tweezers and take it one hair at a time to avoid irrevocable damage.

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A good news football story from the German league where Sandhausen striker Florian Trinks admitted to using his arm to score and made sure the referee ruled it out, perhaps to the annoyance of his celebrating teammates. And as if in a demonstrable example of the existence of karma he went on to score a legitimate headed goal later in the game. Reassuring.
 


If you're asked to give a festive address at a junior school Christmas assembly, it's best to steer clear of the Father Christmas isn't real bombshell. That's surely the minimum requirement.

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Canon Tatton-Brown however, decided to tackle the subject head on, telling the assembled 5 to 11 year olds that Father Christmas was in fact "based on a grisly legend about Saint Nicholas, who bought three murdered children back to life". Going on to explain how the kids were killed by a murderous butcher and "placed in a barrel to be pickled and sold as ham". Merry Christmas!
 

We'll take any opportunity to give the late James Gandolfini a mention and this week is no different. So it was good to see the big man nominated for a Screen Actors' Guild best supporting actor Award for his turn in Enough Said. In a role about as different as it's possible to get from Tony Soprano, it has to go down as an appropriate parting shot, but also a sign of just how much more he had left to do.
 


The current hacking trial has unearthed many shocking details about the British establishment, few more surprising than a leaked email to Andy Coulson revealing our very own Queen's less than generous approach to savoury snack provision at Buckingham Palace. 

"Queen furious about police stealing bowls of nuts and nibbles left out for her in apartments in the BP/Queen's corridor. She has a very savoury tooth and staff leave out cashews, Bombay Mix, almonds etc. Prob is that police on patrol eat the lot."

It continues: "She started marking the bowls to see when the levels dipped."