Last weekend, the world's most egotistical couple married in a spectacularly lavish Florence wedding.
While, on the surface, it might look like your own romance is nothing like the West-Kardashian's Givenchy attired one, we think there's still a fair few pointers to be gleaned from the man they call Yeezy.
1 | You can escape the friend zone
Mr West chased the world's most famous sex-tape star for years after first meeting her in 2004, even sitting by during an entire episode in which she married basketball player Kris Humphries. "I loved her from the first day I saw her," he has since declared. Now, we're not suggesting that if you follow Scarlett Johansson around for long enough she'll leave that French boyfriend of hers, but take heart that if you find yourself dredged in the friend zone, you can still get out.
2 | Help her achieve her dreams
Fashion didn't look too kindly on Kim for a long time, mainly due to her propensity for wearing dead animals all the time. But such is Kanye's influence that he managed to snare the pair a 'his and hers' cover of US Vogue: purportedly something Kim had been hankering for since she first became famous. Can you get your girlfriend a glossy magazine cover? Probably not, but you can make her up some new business cards or get her an iPad so she can check her e-mails on the train, if you're feeling flush.
3 | Put her ego before your own
It's hard to believe from a man who calls himsef Yeezus, but in his (20 minute) groom speech, the self-professed creative genius declared that his new wife is "more beautiful than he is talented". We're not sure that's strictly a compliment, but it seems to have done the trick.
4 | Buy her presents with an individual touch
Not content with bestowing the light of his life with a £8,000 Hermes Birkin bag, Kanye paid famous artist George Condo to paint these contorted women with gnashing, fanged teeth and two sets of jaws all over the thing. Apply this example of personalisation to your own gifts.
5 | Put your family first
On a US radio show in 2013, Kanye made public the fact that he was offered a new deal with Nike, but they weren't prepared to give him royalities because he's not a professional athlete. So, in a bid to make more money for his new family, he scored an Adidas contract instead – who were more than happy to hand over the extra cash. In his own words: "The old me without a daughter, might have taken the Nike deal 'cause I just love Nike so much. But the new me, with a daughter, takes the Adidas deal because I have royalties and I have to provide for my family." Preach.
6 | Don't spend unnecessary time with other women
Why hire a good looking woman to pretend to be your girlfriend in your music video when you have a real-life one? Plus, this way, your children will have an excruciatingly awkward 4.13 minutes of explicit parental content to be teased about when they're older.
7 | Be nice to her mum
The Kardashian matriarch seems to have masterminded her clan's rise from spoilt rich kids to global superstars. As such, she sticks her oar into most of her children's lives, we assume to a pretty irritating extent. But, regardless, Kanye made an appearance on her (failing) chat show in a last-ditch ratings boost effort – a great example of keeping the in-laws happy.
8 | Be prepared to stand your ground
Kim laughed off suggestions that their offspring might take the name 'North,' but Kanye stood firm and got his way, resulting in the world's most compass-friendly offspring. The lesson here? Don't let your loved one get in the way of a good joke.
9 | Find someone who loves you for you
Sounds like Kanye had issues with exes being a little too interested in all those millions of his. He told the BBC: "She [Kim] was in a powerful enough situation where she could love me without asking me for money, which is really hard for me to find." Getting a girlfriend who is all about the real you? Sound advice from The Louis Vuitton Don.
10 | And who supports your in all you (misguided) endeavours
Now this is devotion. Kim gladly wore these hideous furry, cream sandal things in public. And why? Because they were designed by none other than Mr West himself. This, gents, is true love.