20 Things You Will Definitely Experience While Watching The World Cup

It's hard to predict what will happen on the pitch, but it's much easier to guess what will happen off it. Here are 20 things we know you'll see from your armchair this summer

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1 | Sergio Mendes’s 'Mas Que Nada' playing against a background of bare-footed men doing kick-ups on Copacabana beach.

2 | Handheld footage through the fence of England's high-security training camp, zooming in to spot a distant Roy Hodgson holding a clipboard.

3 | National Stereotype No 1: Someone uses the word "mercurial" in relation to the Netherlands.

4 | An England hotel report that features Daniel Sturridge in enormous headphones, Wayne Rooney playing golf, and members of the England coaching team wearing pool sliders.

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5 | A work colleague with no previous interest in football uttering: "I can't believe he didn't start with Sterling.”

6 | Commentator Clive Tyldesley delivering an alliterative and OTT introduction to Brazil v Croatia including phrases “carrying the hopes of a nation” and ending with “let the carnival begin’.

7 | Gary Lineker making an awkward attempt at Des Lynam-style opening gag, probably involving kids staying up late for England’s first match against Italy.

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8 | National Stereotype No 2: Someone uses the word "wily" in reference to Italy.

9 | Adrian chiles putting his finger to his earpiece and stuttering something about “host broadcasters” during flustered half-time handover.

10 | News report citing how a good tournament for England could contribute £100m to the UK economy.

11 | The sight of Glenn Hoddle in pastel pink short-sleeved shirt, possibly first worn in 1987.

12 | National Stereotype 3: Someone uses the word "hard-working" in relation to South Korea.

13 | Thierry Henry looking pensive during ill-judged attempt at being serious during trip to local favela.

14 | Panelists discuss Andrea Pirlo’s passing in a vaguely sexual manner featuring groans and aaahes. Also first mention that he’s ‘like a vintage wine’.

15 | Gus Poyet and Gordon Strachan on the same incomprehensible panel.

16 | National Stereotype 4: Someone uses "effieciency" in relation to Germany. Or Switzerland.

17 | Commentator drops patronising reference to African team with big hearts and tactical innocence.

18 | Alan Shearer suggesting we keep an eye out for Belgium as ‘dark horses’, as if he’s letting you in on a little secret and no one else has ever thought of it.

19 | National Stereotype 5: Someone uses the word "unpredictable" in relation to Nigeria/Colombia/Russia/Mexico/Bosnia/Cameroon/Chile.

20 | Your Mum tells you she has a crush on Clarence Seedorf.

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