25 Signs You're Having An (Early) Mid-Life Crisis

Apparently the mid-life crisis is affecting this generation of men earlier than ever before. So how many warning signs are you ignoring?

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1 You daydream about a simpler life as a carpenter in Snowdonia. Even though you failed GCSE woodwork.

2 You only watch Game of Thrones to give you something to talk about with the young people in the office.

3 You regularly confuse good, friendly service from young shop assistants with overt flirting.

4 You recently argued with your Mum about not pushing you enough to become a pro footballer.

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5 You keep telling people about obscure electronic acts you’ve discovered on Spotify but at home prefer Radio 4 Extra.

6 You know the precise age of every celebrity and public figure over 40.

7 You’ve written out a long list of oddly specific life goals, which includes learning chess and visiting Madagascar.

8 You keep telling friends you’re about to enter Tough Mudder with the guys from work. And you’ve started using the word “guys”.

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9 You have a semi-regular pain in your side you’ve narrowed down to diabetes or cancer.

10 You keep dropping phrases like ‘mashed’ when you’re with anyone under 30.

11 You once got misty-eyed during a life insurance advert but blamed it on a sinus infection.

12 You emailed a volunteering charity to put yourself up as a mentor, but are kind of hoping they don’t reply.

13 You bought a garish pair of Nike Air Force Ones but can’t bring yourself to wear them out of the house.

14 You recently used the phrase, “where does the time go?” while giving a wry smile and a headshake.

15 You think every woman under 35 is gorgeous and curse your younger self for his ‘high’ standards.

16 You’ve recently bought a gilet. One with multi-pockets.

17 You’ve started reading the smallprint on those Shane Warne hair transplant adverts.

18 You daydream about old girlfriends but can’t remember their surnames to look them up on Facebook.

19 You mention social media to your boss so frequently he thinks you have Tourette's syndrome.

20 You raise your voice when describing a big night out to remind everyone in the office (and yourself) that you’ve still got it.

21 You talk about giving up TV for good but last weekend fell asleep in front of Ski Sunday.

22 You seem to carry too much cash around "just in case". And just like your Grandad.

23 You get up at 7am on a Saturday to grab the weekend by the balls, and also because your prostate’s been playing up.

24 You’ve used the phrase, “because it’s just you and the road” when explaining your 18-month-old ‘passion’ for road cycling.

25 Next June, you’re going to Glastonbury.

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SEE ALSO:

Things You Don't Have To Do Before You're 40
Signs You're Turning Into You're Dad
Signs You're A Gym Tool 
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