Dating

The Art of the Introduction

Not got anyone to go out for an awkward restaurant meal with tonight? Perhaps you need a little help. Wise up with this expert guide for all aspiring pick-up artists. 

01 - In his best-selling pick-up manual The Game, Neil Strauss outlines the theory of the effective chat-up line termed “negging”: delivering a barbed remark wrapped in a compliment. For instance, “That’s a really nice skirt — I saw another girl wearing one today.” Negging creates a psychological tension in the subject: “This guy likes me, but I’m in competition with the other girls.” To paraphrase Strauss, the art of negging is to deliver a compliment, pull it back and then repeat. “It’s called flirting,” he says.

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02 - There are other effective icebreaking techniques. British PUA (pick-up artist) Adam Lyons prefers elliptical introductions. In social situations, hot girls are often in groups: make friends with other group members and gradually engineer an introduction to your target. Or, use an “accomplishment introduction”: find out what her interests are and volunteer your accomplishment in that area.

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03- Lyons’s personal favourite icebreaker is the eavesdropper intro. “Talk loudly with a friend about a big current topic, or sex, or something intriguing, within earshot of the girl you’re trying to meet,” he says. “They can’t help listening in. Then you can ask them what they think, and since they know they’ve been caught eavesdropping they are obliged to join the conversation.” Lyons adds, “What you’re really trying to get is five minutes of their time.”

Adam Lyons coaches at puatraining.com

Illustration by Nick Hardcastle