What it is about players from the Continent and their ability to make football sound so... poetic?
While English players are seemingly incapable of using any adjective to describe the beautiful game beyond 'top, top', here's immortal Juventus goalkeeper Gianluigi Buffon penning a love letter to the goal he's been protecting for the past 3000-odd years:
The Italian legend was moved to publish the ode on the internet after breaking the Serie A record for consecutive minutes without conceding a goal on Sunday, when he surpassed the 929 minutes previously clocked up by Milan 'keeper Sebastiano Rossi in 1994.
"I was 12 when I turned by back on you", he says in the note.
"I promised that I would do everything not to see your face again," he continues, bringing a tear to the eye when you consider the length of his career and his devotion to the Old Lady.
Buffon follows compatriot Andrea Pirlo who wrote a autobiography in 2014 that evocatively captured his deep love of the game and - of course - Frenchman Eric Cantona who once composed football's first piece of abstract poetry in the middle of a press conference.
England may have 'The Most Exciting League In The World TM' but it seems we have a long way to go in the football literary stakes.
Time to up your game lads. Rooney, we're looking at you.