If there was a contest to see how ridiculous you can make Game of Thrones sound, this YouTuber would win by a landslide.
YouTube user 'steve' posted a video documenting his first time ever watching the hit HBO show, and the result is actually kind of amazing – chiefly because of the hilarious names he gives the characters.
Deciding to start from this week's episode (that's season seven, episode three 'The Queen's Justice') and ignoring the 60 or so episodes that came before, Steve is basing his whole opinion of the show on his breakdown of what's going on in that episode and that episode alone.
To be fair, he cottons on pretty quick, and soon works out the links between the characters, including "Legolas queen" (Daenerys), "bastard king" (Jon Snow) and "Peter Dinklage" – you can probably guess that one.
"Who did she procreate with to make dragons come out?" he asks at one point about the Mother of Dragons, before going on to tackle the *real* battle at play in the series – whether Dany or Cersei Lannister (Lena Headey) has the best actual throne.
"If this truly is a game of thrones and the game is who has the crazier throne, the winner is Legolas queen," he says. "Her throne is nuts."
Although, it has to be said that his summary of the whole Jon Snow resurrection thing was the best.
"Then, in a crazy turn of events, bastard king's bodyguard makes it sound like the bastard king died and came back to life," he explains. "But then bastard king was like, 'shhh keep it quiet'."
About sums it up.
Eventually, Steve works out that the "short-haired queen" is "Peter Dinklage's sister", and went over to the other side over "some argument".
Well, there's a whole series or two in that, but yeah, that's the basics of it.
Steve also predicts Tyrion will become king by the end of the series, which we could totally get on board with to be honest.
At the end of the video, Steve claims he could jump right in from that point and continue watching, arguing: "It seems like I know everything."
Well, all we can say to that is...
