Postman Pat: community leader, reliable public servant, loving cat owner and... impressively virile lover?
That's what the internet is saying, anyway. And since when is the internet wrong?
In what has to be the strangest conspiracy theory of 2017, one particularly committed Twitter user has blown the children's TV game wide open with some shocking and, quite frankly, irrefutable evidence that the unassuming deliverer of post is in fact a stone cold Lothario on the side.
Others have waded in with their own suspicions over Pat's extracurricular activities, including comedian Steven Managan, who voiced Pat in an film version last year.
While we're still waiting on the BBC to offer an official word on this pressing national issue (what's the license fee for, anyway?) we believe it's safe to say that Postman Pat is children tv's darkest of dark horses.