There is, quite frankly, nothing we'd not baulk at forking out £20,000 for. Be it a car, a watch, a regulation football club or a pair of chinchilla-lined snowboots hand crafted by a litter of Mongolian orphans, £20,000 is a hefty sum to spend, whichever way you spin it.
You'll understand then why we'd have a few reservations about spending £20,000 on a night out. The latest innovation from boutique London club Jalouse however, is offering its well-heeled clientele just that, the ultimate night to remember for, you guessed it, £20,000.
It takes a lot to impress us here at Esquire, we'd never suggest that we've grown accustomed to the highlife, but it would be fair to see that we've seen a fair bit. Nothing, however, could have prepared us for the Bond-esque opulence of Jalouse's brand new Onyx Package.
First off, a Rolls Royce Phantom rocks up at 11pm to whisk you away to the club. Following which, you are greeted by your own bouncer, who remains with you for the rest of the evening (ours was called Raphael). Next thing you know, you're tucked away into a raised "VIP" area overlooking the crowd of Euro-partiers, where you and your nine guests are swiftly rendered immobile by six magnums of Dom Perignon Rosé and three magnums of Belvedere Vodka, brought out - rather dangerously - to the pomp of several miniature fireworks.
Should you find yourself in need of the loo (which is likely after imbibing the entire contents of Jalouse's well-stocked bar) your Raphael will whisk you swiftly away to your own private toilet, complete with a strange, fungi-esque oval shaped marble sink, where you are free to relieve yourself whilst receiving a "man-icure" from the resident make-up artist.
And, as if that wasn't enough, Onyx packagers can look forward to their own bespoke fruit platter and a personalised light display on Jalouse's rather remarkable crystal ceiling. We hate to say it, but recession? What recession?
The Onyx Package costs £20,000 for one night, and also includes life-time membership to the club and invitations to the Jalouse summer tour which includes St. Tropez, Ibiza, Cannes, Monaco and Mykonos.