Cider drinkers have long been the quietly persecuted minority of British pub culture.
In the average bar you have the choice of one - two if you're lucky – pints, while you're lager-swilling chums can pretend to have a preference between anything up to six identikit carbonated pish varieties (Fosters or Carling… Fosters or Carling… hmm, tricky!).
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Not only that, but announcing you'd prefer the sweet nectar tang of apples over something that smells vaguely like a foot is generally met with a look of deep suspicion, like you've requested a veil of virgin blood rather than a perfectly acceptable (and equally alcoholic) alternative to beer.
And now this.
According to a report by Cask Marque, cider is also the 'dirtiest' drink you can order, because Britain's landlords can't be bothered to clean their lines.
Refreshing the tubes that deliver your weapon of choice from the barrels below to the glass in your sweaty palm is supposed to happen once a week, but not 'by law' which means they're often not – with cider pipes being the most neglected.
According to the report, 44% of cider lines in British pubs are dirty, meaning your odds of a clean pint is almost 50/50.
Pretentious, boring cask ale drinkers? The are, tragically, the safest – only 29% of their pipes are dirty.
The lager lads come somewhere in the middle, with 35% of premier and 33% of standard lager pipes being potentially rancid.
Mark Fewster, Product Manager at Vianet, a leisure and hospitality solutions provider, said in the report: "Despite beer being classed as a foodstuff, line cleaning activity in licensed venues is neither officially checked nor regulated.
"You simply wouldn't serve someone food on a plate you hadn't cleaned for two weeks! Unless operators have a system or solution that is proven to allow them to extend the cleaning cycle, then there's no excuse as it should be a weekly activity."
In the meantime, just to spoil your weekend already, here is the full list of draught drinks by cleanliness of lines:
Premier lager: 35%
Standard lager: 33%
Ale - keg: 31%
Ale - cask: 29%