It’s still a good ten months before TV news crews rock up to Apple Covent Garden to find out which mildly disconcerting ‘super fan’ has slept rough long enough to be the first person to own an iPhone 7.

But what the hell: let’s get excited now about the device the rest of us will get once our current phone contracts run out by rounding up the rumours surrounding the release.

***

1 | It will be thinner and lighter
No surprises with this one: the current trajectory to shrink mobile phones until they’re light enough to flutter to the floor like confetti when you drop them continues, with the iPhone 7 predicted to measure less than 6.9mm thick and weight under 129g (the size of the iPhone 6).

2 | There won’t be a headphone jack
The iPhone7 rumour that has been met with most despair is that, thanks to the aforementioned downsizing, there will no longer be space for 3.5mm headphone socket. The solution? Buy more Apple products, of course: in this case a special adapter or Apple’s wireless earphones. Annoying.

3 | You can charge wirelessly
This is good, though. It’s safe bet that one of the things future generations will find most bemusing about the present day is our overwhelming reliance on cables. One feature that may represent a small step out of the chaos is the iPhone 7 charging wirelessly.

4 | You can drop it in the bath
Sony, Samsung and HTC all already make water and dustproof handsets and an unofficial feature of the iPhone 6 itself is that, unlike previous models, it can withstand a little water damage, so it makes logical sense that Apple would be working to make the 7 fully drunken toilet mishap-resistant.

5 | It was last longer and hold more
Battery life remains perhaps the world’s number one gripe with the iPhone, something the new model should finally address. While the 6 contains a paltry 1,810mAh battery, the 7 is tipped to feature a 3,2000mAh (a 12.7% increase). Oh – and expect to have a 256GB storage option, twice the current 128GB maximum, meaning more Game Of Thrones episodes to help block out the painful sight of the real world around you.

***
MORE TECH:
The 10 Most Embarrassing Gadgets Of All Time 
The 25 Best Games You Can Play On Your Phone 
10 Things Technology Should Have Sorted Out By Now 
***