Christmas time may be filled with festive cheer and mulled wine, but there's always that tinge of dread hanging out in the background. "Christmas shopping," it whispers.
Your dad is easy (booze, always). Your brother looks forward to the same thing you get him every year - in fact, he'd be genuinely upset if you swayed from the tradition. But the women in your life, who often give with the expectation of nothing in return, deserve a little more.
And so the pressure is on to find the kind of gift that draws gasps (and tears of joy if you absolutely nail it) as soon as they unwrap their present from under the tree.
Nothing does that quite as well as a blue Tiffany & Co. box, so we've broken down the perfect pieces to buy every woman in your life. Keep the tissues close, she's going to need them.
The sister who deserves something special
Yes, she scratched the paintwork on your 1968 Ferrari Dino 246 GT (scale model). And sure, she used your mint condition comic book collection as the canvas for the Crayola phase of her artistic experimentation.
But ancient betrayals of trust aside, she remains your sister, which makes her very special indeed. And nothing says "all that nonsense is behind us" quite like the cool, contemporary Wrap Bracelet in warm 18k gold from the Tiffany City HardWear collection. Its bold, almost barbed wire-esque chain links - a modern twist on a classic Tiffany design - will appeal to her enduring rebellious spirit, which you have grown to admire and respect in equal measure.
The partner you want to spoil
Diamonds are the purest, most sparkling, most breathtaking manifestations of 4.54 billion years' worth of geological evolution.
And so it is that symbolically - as well as aesthetically - the gift of a diamond remains an ideal expression of your love for the purest, most sparkling, most breathtaking manifestation of human female evolution (hint: your partner).
Prepare to impress her with the stunning Tiffany Metro 2-Hand 28 mm watch. It carries within its stainless steel housing a dazzle of diamonds of varying shapes and sizes, including dozens of round brilliant diamonds encircling the dial and a deliciously decadent diamond crown, making it an ideal symbol of a love as eternal as time itself. Which, incidentally, the watch keeps with the faultless accuracy you'd expect from a Swiss-made piece.
The mum no-one compares to
Since the day your biological parents redeemed their coupons with The Big Stork Baby Delivery Co™ you have been nothing but a burden on your poor mother: physical, emotional and financial. She has clothed you and fed you, provided shelter for you, tended to your wounds (almost all of which were your own idiotic fault) and comforted you during moments of misery (ditto).
And now look at you. A fine figure of a man. She has never asked for anything in return, nor ever will she.
But as much as she appreciates your choice of emoji on your Mother's Day WhatsApp message, and the bi-annual Sunday lunches you cook for her, it's probably about time you treated her to something seriously special.
The Tiffany Victoria Mixed Cluster Pendant features uniquely cut diamonds set on a platinum base the shape and sheen of a breathtaking star. Versatile, understated and truly one-of-a-kind - not unlike a certain someone's mother, we venture - this necklace will hang close to the heart that beats for you. And it should just about make up for a lifetime of filial ingratitude.
The friend you owe it to
She was a shoulder to cry on when, aged 17, you broke up with your then-girlfriend over "irreconcilable differences" relating to your respective views on the The Smiths' debut, self-titled LP. She was a bottomless well of sympathy when, aged 23, you were bedridden with "food poisoning" after drinking your bodyweight in bubbly on the eve of your 24th birthday. And to this day, she remains an unflinchingly loyal, relentlessly dependable friend, through thick and thin and everything in-between.
And how have you ever repaid her? Exactly. Shame on you.
Now, while you simply cannot put a price on friendship, it's probably somewhere in the region of the Tiffany T Square Bracelet. With its clean lines, elegantly crafted in 18k gold, think of it as a sort of friendship bracelet. Only one - like the friend whose wrist it will envelope - of the utmost beauty and sophistication.
The mother-in-law you want on your side
Historically, mothers-in-law have got a really bad rap. Jokes are made at their expense; accusations of intrusive or obstructive behaviour are flung in their general direction; plants from the Sansevieria family, with their dagger-like, pointed leaves, are given nasty nicknames like "mother-in-law's tongue."
But as any right-thinking 21st century man knows, this is far from accurate. In reality, having a mother-in-law is more akin to being a permanent contestant on a never-ending series of The Apprentice, with your M-I-L playing the Lord Sugar role, whose love, trust and support you are trying to secure on a day-by-day, task-by-task basis.
There are two principle ways of achieving this. 1) Being a kind, attentive, supportive and loving partner to her offspring. And 2) Giving her the gift of Tiffany Aria Drop Earrings, so that each of her elegant earlobes may be adorned with a pair of Akoya cultured pearls, luxuriously linked by a timeless trio of platinum-set diamonds. We highly recommend employing both approaches, in tandem.
The sister-in-law who won't see it coming
If there's one thing you learned growing up in your family home with your brother, it is that you would rather see out a 10-year spell in the big house than have to cohabit with him ever again. So take pity on your poor, patient sister-in-law, who has voluntarily entered into a life sentence with the man.
This charming 18k rose gold Atlas Key Pendant from the Tiffany Keys collection - sleek, strong and subtle, with a centre circle of brilliantly bright diamonds - won't help her out of the thankless situation she's created for herself, but will at least display your gratitude for her sacrifice, and show her that one man in the family, at least, has exquisite taste.
Whoever you feel like spoiling this year, find the perfect gift at Tiffany & Co.
