You've probably got a friend who believes they've got the pace of Hector Bellerin, or perhaps you're convinced you match the mileage of Christian Eriksen over an average kickabout - but how to measure these bold claims?
Catapult are a sports tech company who work with over 1,250 professional football, basketball and American football teams to enhance their performance with sophisticated technology.
Their new wearable vest measures your performance and then compares it to player analytics for players from Arsenal, Chelsea, Tottenham, Leicester and top premiership players.
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The PLAYERTEK vest retails at £199 and contains a GPS-enabled pod which can track its wearer as they play a match or train.
Catapult CEO Benoit Simeray explained to WIRED, "Wearable technology is ubiquitous at the amateur level in many sports. But football has lagged behind. Aside from gut feel and, of course, the score line, players have been left in the dark as to their individual performance."
The technology is able to monitor four elements of players performance: distance covered, top-speed, sprint distance, the number of sprints completed. The pod within the vest records stats during your kick around or self-imposed bleep test and then transfers them to an iPhone app.
The app can give you a full match report with statistics broken down into two halves of the game so you can see where you lose your pace and where you're at your most dynamic.
"From those metrics, competitive footballers can understand how they physically compare to a Premier League player's performance over 90 minutes," Simeray told WIRED.
Now you just need to come up with your excuses.