One of the best things about being a man in 2016 is that any stigma about going to spas has long since been rubbed away like a niggly shoulder knot.
Like the Romans before us we have embraced entering hot, dark rooms to be massaged, scrubbed – hell, even given a facial – by strangers with magic hands as the perfect way to unwind.
Here, we round up our recommendations of the best spas in London to escape the horrors of modern life.
ESPA Life, Corinthia Hotel (above)
The first thing that strikes you about this relatively new addition to London's Whitehall is how bloody enormous it is – a whopping 3,300sq m over four floors. Located in the basement of the hotel, the spa includes heated lounges, sleep pods and a black marble men-only area.
Try the deep muscle massage. Just a dark room, a comfortable massage table and a proper, muscle-focused, grunt-inducing massage.
Expect to pay £95 for a 50-minute deep muscle massage. £95 for a 60-minute reviver facial. corinthia.com
Aman Spa, The Connaught Hotel
With only five treatment suites, each with its own dressing area and shower, you're unlikely to bump into anyone else at Connaught Hotel's Aman Spa. Head to the Coburg Bar for a martini after your treatment, to balance things out, like. Just remember to put your pants back on first.
Try the two-and-a-half-hour-long Chinese experience, involving a foot wash, body scrub, a slightly pinchy massage (there's no oil used here) and finally a facial massage.
£280 for the two-and-a-half-hour signature experience. the-connaught.co.uk
Thai Square Spa
While a nice back rub is all well and good, sometimes you need something a bit more. That's where a traditional Thai massage - which combines the usual pummelling with acupressure and assisted yoga postures - comes into its own. And there is no better spot in the capital to find one than Thai Square Spa.
Go for the traditional Thai massage to walk out invigorated and relaxed - you can even stop for a great haircut in their in-house barbers, too.
1hr £75, 1.5hr £105, 2hr £140 for a traditional Thai massage, thaisquarespa.com/
Situated a stone's throw from the Thames, there is a distinctly Morrocan-theme to this 2014 (and 2013) Best Luxury Day Spa Award Winner, evident in both the decor and the treatment range. Get in the mood before the main event – or prolong the buzz afterwards – in one of the two superb relaxation lounges (replenishing tea and nibbles provided).
Start with a Hammam – a Morrocan tradition that involves being covered in crushed olives and Eucalyptus before a good scrub down – before heading in for an excellent, deep tissue massage catered for your individual tastes and needs.
Expect to pay £79 for a 55 minutes
The Dorchester is one of London's most opulent hotels, a quality that extents well into its spa. It has a Art Deco glamour with a contemporary edge, meaning reclining in the relaxation room with a bag of luxury nuts (provided) is almost worth the visit alone.
Opt for the men's Valmont Facial Treatment, which uses natural resources from Switzerland and takes the idea of making you look younger very seriously. Your face will feel brand new for days.
Expect to pay £195 for 60 minutes