Nobody warns you just how hard being a parent is: your free time vanishes, your house is a tip and you function in a constant state of exhaustion. One father who had had enough of babysitters canceling and mopping up puke took to the internet to vent his frustrations.
The brutally honest rant, amusingly titled 'I can't remember why I ever wanted to be a parent and it's insane that anyone would ever want to be one', was posted on the Parenting sub-Reddit three days ago. Since it has had over 150 replies, many from other fathers thanking him for his honesty, agreeing with the crap bits of parenting and offering sage advice.
Read the rant in full below:
"I've had plenty of of rough patches over the last 13 years of parenting and I feel like I've done very well with everything, but now I'm just burned out. I currently have a 13yo(f), 9yo(m), and twin 21mo(f,f). I only can think that this is the worst hobby that anyone would ever think to have. All my time, energy and money go to my kids. I'm left with a house that gets destroyed on a daily basis, exhaustion and zero fulfillment. I thought parenting was supposed to be rewarding? Where's my fucking reward? Last Friday night was spent mopping up puke. Saturday was listening to nothing but whining all day. On Sunday, the two hours of spending time with just my wife was canceled because our babysitter couldn't make it and my teenager couldn't be bothered. Today has been amazing since my oldest decided to rant about eating meat was bad whilst the toddlers tossed all their food on the floor. My wife is taking it all in stride and can't understand how I feel. She gets hurt when I try talking with her about it. For the most part, we have really good kids, but I'm seriously at the end of my rope. I disconnect from everyone as much as possible. I don't even want to interact with any of them. The only thing keeping me from walking away from it all is my deep sense of responsibility. I daydream about tossing my phone in the toilet, cashing out my bank account and just moving thousands of miles away."
After numerous responses he posted the following update:
"There are too many thoughtful replies to address individually and I have some laundry to fold. So here is the rundown:
My wife(42) and I(40) intended to only have one more child for some insane reason. I was totally up for another baby. Four kids changes everything down to the car you drive. Fuck a minivan or SUV. We stuck with our same cars and just take two when necessary. At least I get a car with just one kid and I get to pick the music.
I play discgolf once a week. I get up early on Sundays just to fit it in. My wife does yoga once a week. We try to go out by ourselves at least once a week as well.
We can't afford a housekeeper. The older kids do chores like cleaning the bathroom, doing dishes, folding their laundry and yard work. There is still so much cleaning and cooking that needs to be done.
Depressed?! Hell, I wish I had time to be depressed. Maybe I can find a counselor near my work and get in a session during lunch. In the mean time, I'm going to drink my brown liquor and fold some laundry while the sounds of novice musicians permeates the house."
Maybe one to bookmark when you do make the decision to procreate, so you know what you're really getting yourself into.