Woman Writes Polite Response To Dick Pic, Goes Viral

"Your penis has failed to pass our most basic standards of quality control​"

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One of the major pitfalls of online dating for women is receiving images of unfamiliar penises. 

Such intimate shots can often leave you speechless, but not Sarah-Louise Jordan who was so shocked at the phallic surprise she did what all women wish they could and wrote him a formal letter.

The letter, posted on her Facebook in June, has since been shared over 1,000 times and informed the suitor that his, "unexpected and unsolicited submission of [a] penis portrait for our consideration" had failed to "pass our most basic standards of quality control at this time."

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"I found a surprising picture in my messages," the 28-year-old said. "So, I did the only English thing there was to do – I wrote them a letter."

She goes on to suggest that for a fee she can send him a book that covers the following:

"Why genitals are not an acceptable conversation opener (a step by step guide to saying hello).

"How to appear as though you weren't raised by wolves.

"Better ways to deal with your sexual frustration.

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"How to dress your penis for social media (a rough guide to pants).

"Penis reading: a new form of palmistry that may help you unlock the key to your future."

The fee even covers a, "a surprise consultation with your closest available family member about your [penis] portfolio."

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An offer most can only dream of. Hopefully Prince Charming won't be spreading around shots of his trousersnake quite so liberally from now on.