Despite the many ways we have evolved as a species, sex advice is still often a cringer.
To highlight just how ridiculous some of the advice women are given about "pleasing their man," Reddit users came up with some equivalent sex advice for men with, erm, interesting results.
- 'Turn her period into an exclamation point!'
- 'While you're inside her, use your hips and pretend to write your name in cursive. If applicable, do not forget to dot the lowercase i or j.'
- Top ten foreplay foods to drive her wild! 10) buffalo wings
- 'Yank on her clit! You'll be amazed at the response!!'
- 'If you're a busy man but still want to satisfy her needs, take her doggy style and use her back to write notes on. Or put your laptop on her ass. Multitasking is a quality highly sought after in a partner!'
- 'Eat hot peppers before going down on her; it will give her a warm tingle she won't forget!'
- 'Stick your penis in a bucket of ice for an hour beforehand. It'll give her a special tingle that sends chills up her spine!'
- 'Surprise her while wearing a hairnet (anywhere that has hair)
- 'Blow into her pussy and wait for her head to explode with pleasure!'
- 'Knead her breasts like dough, occasionally adding olive oil and salt.
- 'Refer to her genitals as 'a mighty fine pizza pie'
- 'Poke her clit with a fork'
- 'Don't be scared of doing something a bit more flexible. While you're on top, turn your head 360 degrees whilst screaming, "the anti-Christ has awoken!".'
- 'Knock gentle on the front door and barge in the back'
- 'Make sure to have a different fedora for each day of the week. It's sure to get your m'lady in the mood'.
- 'Feeling festive? Put a little Santa hat on your penis and stick it out the chimney!'
- 'Dump her ass and leave her totally wanting more!'
- '180 new ways to disappoint your girlfriend.'
- 'Fake an orgasm early so she thinks she's done a great job!'
- 'When you're ready for the girl to cum, make sure you yell at the vagina like "CUUUMM!! DO IT!".'
- Make her a sandwich but only give her 78% of it.
You'll be amazed at the results we're promised...